tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post751658474568334129..comments2023-10-11T11:58:15.514-04:00Comments on honor yourself: more than seeing....terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-80188268739936471532011-10-13T22:32:28.295-04:002011-10-13T22:32:28.295-04:00thank you...thank you...Jymihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07311462134739567039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-79283031749098925352011-10-13T19:05:28.913-04:002011-10-13T19:05:28.913-04:00Terri I think the concept you've touched on is...Terri I think the concept you've touched on is about being a "rescuer" and trying to rescue people whether they want it or not, because you "know" it's what's best for them. I realized a while back that I had rescuer tendencies and it just devastated me. I really thought I was doing it for the "right" reasons. So I've done a lot of soul searching and have come to the same conclusion as Denise. The best way to help people is just listen, rephrase, and ask questions... and she's totally right, we don't have to provide the answers, just a different way of looking for them. It is up to the person to come up with their own answers. These are the only answers that will really count for them. We can't do the work for them or take away their troubles; to grow, they must do this for themselves.Brigitte / La de Ojos Azuleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03301018515652146278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-29523773487642326292011-10-13T11:45:38.487-04:002011-10-13T11:45:38.487-04:00LOVE this, denise! really good point! thank you!LOVE this, denise! really good point! thank you!terri st. cloudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-55540462278422552912011-10-13T10:08:01.153-04:002011-10-13T10:08:01.153-04:00Along with this, a related concept might be the re...Along with this, a related concept might be the reason people give. Some people have an image of themselves as "kind" or "giving" when they're actually out to boost their egos or to have people say and think wonderful things about them. It has to do with intention. Do I really SEE the problem and want to help THEM? Or am I half listening waiting to say things I've said a thousand times and show off how clever and "nice" I am. If all you're seeing is a chance to show yourself off, you haven't really seen and you can't really help.<br />Sometimes the best way to help is to just listen and rephrase and ask questions. People have the answers inside of them and just need a nudge.<br />DeniseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com