tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77317621732865618712024-03-18T23:06:21.273-04:00honor yourselfthoughts and wonderings offered to a world
full of hurt.terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.comBlogger3795125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-16335762507813194342015-07-10T10:28:00.002-04:002015-07-10T10:29:45.945-04:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
because zakk is an absolute genius when
it comes to all this web stuff,</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
he's made it so that my blog will now
be found on my website.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
how cool is that?!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
which means.......i'm movin' on over!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
hoping that you'll move on over with
me!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
it's really cool, easy to read, and just so convenient to have</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
everything right there.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
if you do come over there, be sure to check out the different buttons</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
on the top black bar. i'm all excited about those! we've got the</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
facebook covers and also images that can be shared on facebook or</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
pinterest or anywhere! they're under the button 'shareables' -</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
they're just right there really convenient.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
you can find the blog there, any news we have to share and well.....</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
it's just awesome!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
zakk did a great job!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="http://www.bonesigharts.com/category/journal">you can now find the blog here........</a><br />
<br />
and if you forget where the heck the blog is,<br />
just come over to Bone Sigh Arts. com and you'll find it right there!<br />
or bookmark it for really easy use!</div>
terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-86884254333554441402015-07-09T14:33:00.004-04:002015-07-09T14:33:53.071-04:00it's not that hard terri...<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">after my drive yesterday (see post below)</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i really tried to just let myself relax into the releasing.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">my guy – my new room-mate – is so good for me with that.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">he was right there encouraging me, helping me.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i couldn’t have a better fella.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">while i couldn’t have a better fella,</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i bet i could have a cleaner one.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and of course, that’s been a bit of a culture shock thing goin’ on here.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">it’s one of those things where i see he’s trying, really trying.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and well…..um……..gosh.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i think real hard on how to approach the stuff and not make things crazy</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and it can get me all tangled.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and then?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">today while out getting some cleaning supplies i found these cleaning wipes.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i never noticed ’em before.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">don’t think i ever needed them before.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">but oh ho ho.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">now!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">now baby!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i am puttin’ these suckers to use!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">honestly, the company should call me today.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">because i would do a knock-em-dead commercial for these things.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i do believe they are about to change my life!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and yeah……they’re cleaning wipes.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">yeah.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i know.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">but here’s the thing –</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">here’s why i’m bloggin’ about them –</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">it’s so easy.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">so easy.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i’m gonna have a normal conversation with my guy about this co-habitating stuff</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and i’m gonna keep my cleaning wipes handy!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and that’s it.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">not so hard.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">so i’m thinking about all these tons of little things that have gotten me stressed</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">lately……all across the board all across my life…..personal, business, everywhere.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i think 90% of my stresses just needed their own sort of cleaning wipes.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">honestly.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">you got a problem? what’s the cleaning wipe solution for it?</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i’ve already dived into a buncha stuff that was getting to me –</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">visualizing cleaning wipes in hand –</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and i tell ya, i’m rarin’ to go!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">i’m tackling some business stuff today.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">and instead of dreading it – i’m totally tickled.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">go figure.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 28px; text-transform: lowercase;">it’s not that hard.</span></span></div>
terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-64098816420108256362015-07-08T14:17:00.000-04:002015-07-08T14:17:16.297-04:00trusting lifesometimes there is nothing like a good drive.<br />
<br />
i found myself in the car today.<br />
45 minutes up.<br />
45 minutes back.<br />
<br />
the first part of the ride up was me alternating between being totally wired<br />
and totally exhausted. it was a manic weird mix.<br />
<br />
hours later when i got in the car to come back,<br />
i wondered how on earth i'd get myself back into a working mood.<br />
and there was much to do.<br />
i sighed and pulled outta the parking lot.<br />
<br />
but as i headed down the highway,<br />
i put the music up loud and just drove right into the sky.<br />
a great vendor guy who had too many bottles of drinks for some reason<br />
had handed me two bottles of cold water just before i got in the car.<br />
<br />
ahhhhhh......<br />
<br />
so i drank.<br />
and i listened to music and just opened to that sky.<br />
it's really a pretty drive.<br />
and the trees against the kinda gray sky were just singing along as i went.<br />
i had the windows wide open,<br />
my hair was blowing all over the place,<br />
and the water tasted so good.<br />
<br />
i could feel something inside of me letting up.<br />
a release.<br />
i could just feel it happening.<br />
i wasn't trying.<br />
i wasn't thinking 'i need to let go' or anything.<br />
i just started to let go.<br />
<br />
and as i did, i realized how hard i had been trying in so many parts of my life.<br />
how i had been tryin' and tryin' and tryin'.<br />
and spinnin' my wheels and trying to make everything 'work.'<br />
and i suddenly didn't feel like i HAD to anymore.<br />
i felt like it was okay to just be.<br />
<br />
i could feel it so deeply,<br />
that my eyes teared up.<br />
<br />
i watched and was just amazed at how the tension was just leaving.<br />
and how i hadn't even realized how tense i was.<br />
<br />
and i thought about 'the process' of living.<br />
and how i needed to let go.......and it just happened.<br />
well, it happened with the space to happen because of that drive right then.<br />
<br />
and i thought about maybe what i really need to pay attention to is not making<br />
things 'work' - but making the space for the process to happen.<br />
<br />
trust it, terri.<br />
just trust it.<br />
it will take care of you.<br />
<br />
when i got home, i started filling an order and stopped on this piece.<br />
i read it and smiled.<br />
<br />
okay.<br />
apparently i forgot......<br />
but today, i remember<br />
<br />
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<img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif7HTTgJ2TFX_ccI6Ho4mwt3Enjm4ClXuRya4AkHIZlgRkPFU3YMo4jyK8JC08kQ0bo2hBKQXQr5l9dYguyZxF9wfa_ocgK4SkKDJ8-cwNkdTj7sycpxT5h3gio5b0e7ylPBPxevKo3L8/s320/trusting_life.jpg" width="256" /><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.bonesigharts.com/store/trusting-life">trusting life</a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: Bitter, serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 26px; text-align: start;">“</span><span itemprop="description" style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: Bitter, serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 26px; text-align: start;">trusting life meant he had to stop<br />trying to control it.<br />it meant releasing into not knowing<br />and being okay with that.<br />it meant not understanding,<br />but living fully anyway<br />or maybe living fully<br />because of that.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: Bitter, serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 26px; text-align: start;">”</span></div>
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<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-33733539310870241192015-07-07T12:58:00.001-04:002015-07-07T12:58:37.473-04:00the whole darn stinkin' point......i've got stuff goin' on inside me that i just figured would make no sense to anyone else.<br />but a friend's pain today inspired me to try to put this out there.<br />
i don't think it will help her at all.<br />
but if i believe in telling her to offer yourself thru the pain,<br />
then i figure i should put my money where my mouth is.<br />
<br />
if you don't work with your inner child, if you don't feel you have one,<br />
or if that whole inner child stuff makes no sense, go ahead and pass on this blog.<br />
<br />
cause that part is so central to this whole thing.<br />
it's SO SO SO SO about the inner child part of me.<br />
<br />
it's the part that's just full of light and love and innocence and play and goodness.<br />
it's the part that will so easily get squashed by this world.<br />
so much so that we hide it and protect it so much of the time.<br />
<br />
it's a big part of my personality.<br />
and when i let that part out, i don't realize how vulnerable i am.<br />
until i get hit.<br />
<br />
recently that part of me was not only out in full force,<br />
she was having a ball and really really open.<br />
and then........as so easily happens in this world.....<br />
BAM.<br />
<br />
in one quick moment, her world crashed in.<br />
<br />
i don't mean to be melodramatic......i just have no other way to say it -<br />
it just feels like that part of me is crushed.<br />
<br />
the reaction is so strong.<br />
and it takes all i have to maintain my composure and to act like everything is really okay.<br />
when inside i feel a crushing, a door slamming and major running away and hiding.<br />
<br />
and so........this happens.<br />
because i don't think you can be in the world, show that part, and not have it happen<br />
here and there. i just think that's how it works.<br />
<br />
i immediately understood it was my inner child.<br />
that in itself is progress.<br />
<br />
i tried to attend to that part of me the second i was alone and could.<br />
that again is progress.<br />
<br />
here's the part that feels like it negates any progress i make -<br />
if i can have different parts of me - as in an inner child,<br />
then it's really easy for me to also have another part of me that just does not like<br />
this whole inner child stuff. i think that part is actually trying to help.<br />
to help protect me. to help keep me safe.<br />
it sees the inner child enthusiasm as a set up for pain.<br />
and so it wants to shut that part down.<br />
telling that part it doesn't like the way it is.<br />
<br />
i realize this probably makes no sense to anyone else.<br />
but i gotta try.<br />
cause if it does, we need to talk about it.<br />
<br />
so there's part of me showing compassion to this innocent and vulnerable part.<br />
but at the same time there's another part telling that innocent and vulnerable part<br />
it just causes trouble.<br />
<br />
man.<br />
talk about a conflict.<br />
there's a whole wrestling match inside me.<br />
<br />
and then, of course, it hits buttons and issues and swirls things around inside big time.<br />
<br />
suddenly, there's things to work on.<br />
when a moment ago i was just havin' fun.<br />
<br />
it's discouraging to me to see progress, and yet to see this other part of me hindering<br />
so much of the progress. it's not helpful to have one part degrading another.<br />
<br />
but in typing it out, i do see that the negative part truly is trying to protect me.<br />
and that does help.<br />
<br />
it's the ol' how to live in the world and stay open.<br />
when you yourself can't even accept your openness -<br />
how can you blame others for not embracing it?<br />
<br />
what a challenge.<br />
<br />
it discourages me - so much of it discourages me.<br />
that my world can be shut down in a moment.<br />
that part of me doesn't like another part of me that truly is beautiful.<br />
<br />
but then again - maybe i need to see it as a journey into really learning how to<br />
love all of myself. how to really really see, embrace and accept all the parts.<br />
<br />
i know darn well that when it's all over for me,<br />
that's what i want to have accomplished.<br />
because if i get that, i have really learned how to live.<br />
<br />
sigh.<br />
okay.<br />
okay.<br />
okay........i'll keep at it.<br />
<br />
cause that's the whole point, isn't it?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-306476674056841612015-07-06T14:27:00.001-04:002015-07-06T14:27:51.203-04:00fireworks!i swear fireworks are like a darn spiritual experience for me.<br />
i love them!<br />
i love love love them.<br />
<br />
and as i leaned my head back and watched all the colors and all the<br />
stars - more stars than i ever remembered before -<br />
exploding all over the place,<br />
i kept thinking about the stars inside me.<br />
<br />
i kept mixing the thoughts up -<br />
<br />
some were about how we all have stars inside us and we gotta just<br />
know that and tune into that and feel them shine....<br />
<br />
and then some thoughts were about the different parts of me and how<br />
i gotta stop hiding and let them just burst forth. how i have to believe<br />
in them enough to stop hiding.<br />
<br />
some thoughts were relating parts of myself to different colors and bursts.<br />
<br />
some were just about wanting to reach out and pull these bursts right<br />
inside of me, and then realizing my own bursts were even more incredible.<br />
<br />
all thoughts were about the glory of who we were and of letting<br />
that glory just be alive and explosive inside us.<br />
<br />
i felt like crying at the end of the display.<br />
crying in a good way.<br />
i so needed the reminder.<br />
<br />
i spent the rest of that evening and the next day with katy perry's song in my head -<br />
(<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw">click here </a>if you want it running thru your head as well!)<br />
<br />
baby, you're a darn firework.<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-33805175402629368502015-07-03T12:25:00.005-04:002015-07-03T12:25:55.339-04:00right there in front of my face...i was cleaning my studio out a bit.<br />
i bent down to pick up a piece of cardboard to put in the recycling pile.<br />
on the back of the cardboard i found a poem.<br />
i apparently printed it out and taped it there.<br />
<br />
i stopped and read it.<br />
<br />
oh wow.<br />
it totally stopped me in my tracks.<br />
<br />
i had no clue who wrote it or where it came from.<br />
<br />
i googled it.<br />
<br />
of course.<br />
<br />
rumi.<br />
<br />
it was only this part of the poem -<br />
<br />
...........<br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">Oh friend!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">There is treasure in your heart,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">it is heavy with child.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">Listen.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">All the awakened ones,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">like trusted midwives are saying,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">'welcome this pain.'</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">It opens the dark passage of Grace.</span><br />
...........<br />
<br />
i don't remember when i printed it out or what was going on....<br />
but here it was again - in front of my face....<br />
and it made my world stop.<br />
<br />
turns out this is the whole poem -<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">Every midwife knows</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">that not until a mother’s womb</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">softens from the pain of labour</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">will a way unfold</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">and the infant find that opening to be born.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">Oh friend!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">There is treasure in your heart,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">it is heavy with child.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">Listen.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">All the awakened ones,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">like trusted midwives are saying,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">'welcome this pain.'</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">It opens the dark passage of Grace.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;" /><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;">~ Rumi</i><br />
<i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;"><br /></i>
<i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Allerta; font-size: 13.5px; line-height: 18.8999996185303px;"><br /></i>
i just couldn't think of a better thing to share today than this.<br />
take it into your weekend with you and hold it close...terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-30856492555017687712015-07-02T14:27:00.002-04:002015-07-02T14:27:32.712-04:00mowing therapylawn mowing's a funny thing.<br />
can't say there's ever a time i just really want to run out and mow.<br />
but......seems like that active movement and effort and sweating<br />
does some pretty good things for the spirit.<br />
and the sorting out of thoughts.<br />
and the reminding oneself of things that need to be remembered.<br />
<br />
i found myself out there again yesterday evening,<br />
and i found myself pushing and sweating and thinking.<br />
<br />
thinking about some things i need to face.<br />
<br />
thoughts like 'well, whining isn't gonna get you anywhere,<br />
just what exactly do you need to do to get the results you want?" come thru my head.<br />
<br />
and the belief that i can do what i need to is right there behind the thought.<br />
<br />
THAT right there makes mowing the lawn a very very good thing.<br />
<br />
when my sons moved out,<br />
one of my big worries was that i wouldn't be able to keep up with the big yard.<br />
i had no idea my yard was gonna turn into my place of therapy.<br />
<br />
and when i'm all done with a mowing therapy session,<br />
i sit back,<br />
look at the yard i love<br />
the yard that i can indeed take care of,<br />
and i remember that i am stronger than i know.<br />
and that patient plugging away and working at things,<br />
takes care of the bulk of what needs taken care of.terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-87560903694355576352015-07-01T14:46:00.001-04:002015-07-01T14:46:47.708-04:00in spirit...for many different reasons that i'm aware of,<br />
and prolly a few i'm not aware of,<br />
i've been a bit on the beat side lately.<br />
just tired and non-energetic.<br />
<br />
it's at those times i see how truly energetic my life is.<br />
when that zip is gone, wow......do i notice.<br />
<br />
today i was frustrated with it.<br />
need to get so much done and it's just not happening.<br />
<br />
so i decided to work with it.<br />
<br />
and i see what an incredible balance it is to do that.<br />
<br />
i did both -<br />
respect the fatigue and rest.<br />
and then i got up and 'did the opposite.'<br />
<br />
i love the 'opposite' idea.<br />
<br />
i remember reading ages ago that if you're feeling depressed,<br />
instead of just layin' around, you gotta do the opposite of what you feel like.<br />
and i think the example in the book included all kinds of lethargy,<br />
not just depression. get up and take yourself out for a walk when you<br />
don't feel like it. move around, dance to music, do things you don't feel like.<br />
force yourself.<br />
<br />
and i realize - sometimes we're tired because we're tired!<br />
and that needs to be respected.<br />
<br />
and then sometimes it needs to have the ol' opposites worked on it.<br />
<br />
so today, i tried to do both.<br />
and both felt really good.<br />
<br />
but my gosh, it really is hard to move when you don't feel like it.<br />
<br />
i think of those who deal with severe depression.<br />
it's gotta be one almighty task to try to get moving.<br />
i'm just tired and it really took some effort.<br />
it seems just about impossible if it was worse than that.<br />
<br />
but i'm betting it matters a ton.<br />
<br />
so i decided i was going to keep at this for as long as it takes<br />
to get my energy back. and i kinda wanted to do it with those who<br />
are depressed in mind. i wanted to hold them in my heart and<br />
keep pluggin' away and maybe whisper out to them thru the universe -<br />
'you're not alone. i'm thinking of you.'<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-62087039753458207242015-06-30T14:32:00.001-04:002015-06-30T14:32:46.555-04:00something to consideri have been losing myself in mark nepo's writing lately.<br />
i'm now engrossed in his book, 'seven thousand ways to listen.'<br />
<br />
he said something in there that i thought was really worth all of us<br />
thinking about. so i thought i'd share -<br />
<br />
'Facing our inner divisions is the first step to knowing where we need<br />
to rejoin ourselves. You cannot set bone until you know where it is<br />
broken, and you cannot set upon the journey of individuation - of<br />
becoming a whole person - until you know where and how you are<br />
divided.'<br />
<br />
i love the 'divided' word.<br />
not broken.<br />
divided.<br />
<br />
i really love that choice of words.<br />
<br />
and i love the thought.<br />
i couldn't answer you where i thought my inner divisions are right now.<br />
and i think that's one reason i love this.<br />
it's really something to chew on and consider.<br />
<br />
thought some others might enjoy it as well.......terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-55645396588859325782015-06-29T13:31:00.000-04:002015-06-29T13:31:10.033-04:00a moment in the coffee shop...god's been on my mind.<br />
i'm not even sure how to explain it.<br />
cause i don't believe in the kinda god a lotta people do.<br />
i talk about god like i do tho, cause it's just easier to use the words that way.<br />
<br />
and i guess that's it -<br />
i wanted to find my own words.<br />
i wanted to find some sort of way to describe god.<br />
describe what i mean by god.<br />
i wanted to paint my god with words.<br />
<br />
so i went down to the coffee shop and thought about it.<br />
scribbled some stuff down.<br />
and saw - i had no words that worked.<br />
none.<br />
<br />
i was right next to a window watching the breeze blow thru the leaves of<br />
the trees outside, i was looking at the sky - that for me is sooo much a symbol<br />
of god....and i couldn't do it. how do you catch the energy that's in between<br />
what you see? how do you catch the life in the living?<br />
<br />
so i started writing about how i couldn't do it.<br />
<br />
and i watched my hand moving the pen.....<br />
the way it just glided along, writing words....<br />
and i thought.....there's god.<br />
right there.<br />
in whatever is moving my hand.<br />
but how do you capture that?<br />
<br />
stuck, i went up to refill my coffee cup.<br />
<br />
there was a young woman there filling the napkin holder.<br />
i smiled, said hello, asked her how she was as i helped myself to the coffee.<br />
<br />
we chatted for a moment.<br />
<br />
and just as i was about to turn back and head to my table,<br />
she asked 'and how are you?'<br />
<br />
she didn't have to.<br />
it wasn't necessary.<br />
it was easy to end it all where we were.<br />
<br />
but she asked.<br />
and she sounded like she cared.<br />
<br />
i smiled, answered her and joked.<br />
that was on the outside.<br />
<br />
on the inside things just kinda stopped for me.<br />
and i felt......really FELT....how god was right there.<br />
right there between us.<br />
<br />
i had absolutely no words to describe what i meant,<br />
but i was overwhelmed with the feeling.<br />
<br />
and for a MOMENT i really understood how god is everywhere.<br />
i went back to my table sure i had no words for what i was feeling.<br />
but still so grateful for the moment and how it filled me.<br />
<br />
i decided to drive home and be in my yard with the sky.<br />
as i headed out of the parking lot, i saw some people crossing into a store.<br />
they looked as if they forgot god was there.<br />
'they just forgot.' i thought.<br />
<br />
we all just forget.<br />
and sometimes we just close the door on it all.<br />
but it doesn't go away.<br />
whatever that is that i can't describe -<br />
it doesn't go away.<br />
<br />
we do.<br />
it doesn't.<br />
<br />
and for a moment i really really understood that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-8667494929445696312015-06-26T13:37:00.002-04:002015-06-26T13:37:50.427-04:00silliesthe fear.<br />
and the trying to protect thru the fear.<br />
oh my gosh.<br />
when will we EVER learn?<br />
<br />
i just watched someone stuck in their fear,<br />
and tryin' really hard to protect themselves.<br />
they finally let go and seem so much happier.<br />
<br />
they don't seem any more safe than they were before....<br />
but way happier.<br />
<br />
well, gosh,<br />
couldn't we just say that about me recently?<br />
and me lots of times.<br />
<br />
it's so much easier seeing it in someone else.<br />
it just makes so much sense that all that struggle they're doing<br />
to stay safe and protect themselves is a waste and a wrestle they don't need.<br />
sillies.<br />
and we need to be patient til they figure it out.<br />
sigh.<br />
and...<br />
yeah.<br />
it's so easy to see when someone else is doin' it.<br />
<br />
really.<br />
<br />
but when we do it?<br />
it seems so necessary.<br />
it seems so important.<br />
it seems so consuming.<br />
<br />
sigh.<br />
<br />
sillies.<br />
<br />
it doesn't help a thing.<br />
hurts a ton.<br />
and slows us down.<br />
<br />
i see it clearly now.<br />
now let's see if i can live it clearly for oh.....<br />
maybe a full weekend?<br />
<br />
gonna try.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-19427871708658257112015-06-25T14:27:00.001-04:002015-06-25T14:27:05.985-04:00it's a good ol' age.it's a good ol' age.<br />
this being 'older'<br />
it's a good ol' age and i really saw that as i sat and talked with a friend today.<br />
<br />
we talked about a whole lotta different things.<br />
and i gotta say our age showed thru the topics.<br />
in a really cool way.<br />
<br />
there's been a lotta learning along the way,<br />
a lotta growing, and more and more understanding sinking in.<br />
<br />
and then we talked of things we loved to do -<br />
<br />
and we can do them now.<br />
we have the time to do them now.<br />
and we're no longer in that place where we gotta give ourselves away over and over again.<br />
<br />
it's our time.<br />
<br />
so we've got this time,<br />
we've got these passions,<br />
and we've got a little more understanding of life.<br />
<br />
i came home from the meet up feeling inspired.<br />
<br />
it's a good ol' age.<br />
and it's up to us to make it ours.<br />
<br />
toasting 'older' women and who we've grown to be!terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-49257156568563530642015-06-24T11:48:00.001-04:002015-06-24T11:49:43.168-04:00god's pinkyi held my breath when i read mark nepo refer to the sea as<br />
god's smaller face in the world.<br />
<br />
how perfect.<br />
<br />
and the phrase popped into my head last nite as i was standing in the<br />
middle of my yard looking up at the sky.<br />
<br />
a strong storm was rolling in.<br />
the clouds were churned up, moving swiftly in circular motions.<br />
the different shades of gray were many<br />
and here and there were holes of light shining thru the layers<br />
and layers of power and energy.<br />
<br />
i was completely taken with the force above me.<br />
<br />
and i thought of that phrase -<br />
<br />
<i>god's smaller face in the world.</i><br />
<br />
i was intimidated standing under such power,<br />
i was in awe of the energy that was so beyond me,<br />
and i was moved by the breath taking beauty of it all.<br />
<br />
i noticed how full of emotion i was -<br />
and thought if i i felt this full under a stormy sky -<br />
imagine what it would be like standing in front of god.<br />
<br />
'this feeling here would be equivalent to seeing god's pinky!' i thought.<br />
and laughed.<br />
<br />
what would it be like to stand before god?<br />
<br />
not sure i want to.<br />
and yet, not sure i don't.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzkukhqVpT3AuGswC7e9VWqwmYWtAAhEavqDKFAdOX8ofgQzR8oILMviABoY-7Ju3yiFwqJVh9CIta0-vkZlBssQ-pE2y9WmTpUX1SjjGzcdVnLIxMCjzNECSsPXm5lDEI_ln7ixIrXEs/s1600/god+swirled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzkukhqVpT3AuGswC7e9VWqwmYWtAAhEavqDKFAdOX8ofgQzR8oILMviABoY-7Ju3yiFwqJVh9CIta0-vkZlBssQ-pE2y9WmTpUX1SjjGzcdVnLIxMCjzNECSsPXm5lDEI_ln7ixIrXEs/s320/god+swirled.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-68996652657003231602015-06-23T12:27:00.002-04:002015-06-23T12:28:20.175-04:00uncleya know,<br />
i can be so darn thick headed.<br />
the best thing in my life lately has been havin' this goofy guy of mine here.<br />
this whole co-habitation thing has been deeply wonderful.<br />
<br />
and um.....<br />
i gotta say, i dragged my feet a bit.<br />
grinnin'.<br />
okay.<br />
a lot.<br />
<br />
i dragged my feet a lot.<br />
<br />
gosh, if we could look down at the path of my life,<br />
we'd find a whole lotta dragged feet marks along the way.<br />
<br />
so here i am, draggin' my feet with more things,<br />
and it occurs to me -<br />
the last thing i dragged my feet with has been really really good once i let go.<br />
i am living that joy right now.<br />
<br />
so.<br />
how about with other stuff???<br />
<br />
i think it's time.<br />
<br />
no, this isn't an over nite letting go of for sure.<br />
i've been deeply dug in for a bit now.<br />
but i think today i'm letting go and letting life lead me.<br />
<br />
i honestly think i've had enough wrestling.<br />
<br />
and i'm ready to be led.<br />
<br />
funny,<br />
i feel my inner child coming alive again.<br />
go figure.terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-69005602219744850902015-06-23T12:12:00.001-04:002015-06-23T12:12:10.438-04:00latest updateand our homepage has been updated!<br />
ha!<br />
you just can't keep that zakk down!<br />
<br />
wanna see?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.bonesigharts.com/">click here</a> and come on over!terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-39752294600078972902015-06-22T14:20:00.001-04:002015-06-22T14:22:12.031-04:00heel marksi don't do a lotta fridge magnets.<br />
<br />
as a matter of fact - i only have three.<br />
<br />
i'm a minimalist when it comes to fridges.<br />
<br />
two hold up the only photo i have there.<br />
it's of my partner and i.<br />
it's on the side of my fridge and right where i can see it when i cook.<br />
one magnet is the cat and the hat.<br />
and the other says 'i'm very receptive to compliments today.'<br />
they remind me to keep the child like play alive in my relationship<br />
and to always be free in telling the good stuff.<br />
<br />
then i have my 'real' magnet.<br />
the one that i'd leave there if there wasn't anything else at all on the fridge.<br />
<br />
the one that i saw in the store and laughed right out loud when i read it.<br />
the one i didn't buy because i was budgeting.<br />
the one my friend who was with me secretly bought for me after she saw my reaction to it.<br />
<br />
it says quite simply -<br />
<br />
'let go or be dragged.'<br />
<br />
i honest to pete think that is one of the best things that has ever been written.<br />
<br />
and as many times as i've glanced at it, laughed again, and nodded for<br />
the thousandth time, it always feels true.<br />
<br />
that's exactly where i am with a certain place in my life right now.<br />
and i gotta be honest,<br />
there's marks in the path where my heels have dug in while i've been dragged along.<br />
<br />
big sigh.<br />
<br />
let go or be dragged.<br />
<br />
dragging doesn't feel so good.<br />
<br />
i'm workin' hard on letting go.<br />
and i think that's my problem.<br />
i don't think letting go is so much about work.<br />
and trying.<br />
i think it's just doing.<br />
<br />
i keep at it.<br />
loosening one finger at a time.<br />
<br />
i'll get there.<br />
cause this whole dragging this is......well.....<br />
dare i say?<br />
a total drag.<br />
<br />
sorry, i couldn't help it. :)<br />
<br />
let go or be dragged.<br />
still, as hard as it is right now, that's one of my all time favorite sayings.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-72330214947070861672015-06-19T12:42:00.004-04:002015-06-19T12:42:48.120-04:00a rain storm<br />
there's been a lot on my heart lately.<br />
stuff i haven't been able to control,<br />
friends who are hurting.<br />
morons who won't shut up.<br />
people who aren't thinking things thru.<br />
and it's made my heart heavy.<br />
over and over again, i have gone to my yard for peace.<br />
it always comes thru.<br />
but the sadness......it's been staying for awhile now.<br />
<br />
so when the storm rolled thru yesterday,<br />
i shoulda realized that's why i was drawn to my back porch.<br />
to just be with the energy of the earth.<br />
to bring my sadness to the storm.<br />
<br />
it rolled in with gusto<br />
and poured and poured and poured.<br />
i couldn't sit there any more.<br />
i HAD to be in it.<br />
<br />
of course, it wasn't really smart as there was still thunder around,<br />
but i couldn't help it.<br />
<br />
i had a bucket filling with water under my gutter.<br />
i went right over.<br />
it's like being in a waterfall.<br />
(yeah, i need to check my gutter)<br />
i took the bucket and poured it in my little pond where i had<br />
just earlier discovered tadpoles.<br />
back and forth from gutter to pond,<br />
i filled the bucket<br />
and poured it out again,<br />
talking to the tadpoles and the rain.<br />
<br />
the practical reason, if anyone asked, would be to fill my pond.<br />
but my pond didn't need it.<br />
i did.<br />
<br />
and then i sat on the steps and watched the storm leave.<br />
<br />
the sun was right behind it.<br />
one of those storms where the last rain drops are in the sunshine.<br />
<br />
and i watched the bright sun hit the wet leaves.<br />
and the glimmer that was born!<br />
my entire soul just filled up with it.<br />
and without even realizing where it was coming from,<br />
i just kept hearing 'YES!'<br />
my whole being felt like the word yes.<br />
<br />
in the back of my head, i knew there was some poem by<br />
e.e. cummings with yes in it.<br />
<br />
after taking it all in,<br />
feeling the healing of the storm waters<br />
and the water diamonds among the leaves<br />
i went in and looked up the poem.<br />
<br />
here's a piece of it -<br />
<br />
<i>i thank You God for most this amazing</i><br />
<i>day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees</i><br />
<i>and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything</i><br />
<i>which is natural which is infinite which is yes</i><br />
<br />
i thought it was so cool how the poem had filled me without<br />
my even really knowing what the poem said.<br />
i definitely went beyond understanding it -<br />
i lived it.<br />
<br />
and once again, the earth soothed me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-52446672425609267932015-06-18T11:38:00.000-04:002015-06-18T11:38:17.105-04:00and pop went my eyes...i just read something that made my eyes pop!<br />
where else? mark nepo's book.<br />
could be any of 'em - but it was in 'the endless practice.'<br />
<br />
he mentioned the story of aladdin's lamp.<br />
i only know it from my memories as a kid.<br />
but i know enough that i love this thought -<br />
<br />
he says 'the lamp is home for a powerful genie that will serve<br />
whoever rubs, caresses, and cares for the lamp.'<br />
and then he goes on to say that WE are the lamp and the<br />
powerful genie lives inside each of us!<br />
<br />
bam!<br />
<br />
he speaks of the origin of the word 'genius.'<br />
i first heard this when i heard elizabeth gilbert talk -<br />
and i remember loving it -<br />
genius originally meant 'attendant spirit'<br />
and <i>everyone</i> has a genius.<br />
and, of course, you can call that many different things -<br />
inner wisdom......our soul.......i've even called it 'butterfly woman.'<br />
<br />
there isn't a doubt in my mind that we all have our own inner genie.<br />
not one doubt.<br />
<br />
and yet...<br />
there's a thousand ways i forget.<br />
<br />
when my eyes pop because of a gorgeous reminder,<br />
i know it's time for me to remember.<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-32076347618389808812015-06-17T12:43:00.000-04:002015-06-17T12:44:03.984-04:00and my gardens call....a safe place for me is my garden.<br />
actually - gardenS.<br />
i have gardens all around my house.<br />
<br />
this morning as i went out to put something outside,<br />
i got sidetracked with one of them.<br />
i stopped and started weeding it.<br />
knowing i only had a few moments...<br />
but i didn't care,<br />
i really needed to be there.<br />
<br />
it felt good to know that.<br />
it felt right to claim the moment.<br />
<br />
i found myself talking to the plants.<br />
something i do constantly every time i'm out there.<br />
but i seldom notice.<br />
this morning i noticed.<br />
and i noticed how normal that is for me.<br />
i noticed how comfortable i am out there.<br />
i noticed how while i was tidying up the garden<br />
and nurturing the plants,<br />
my insides were also getting a cleaning and a nurturing.<br />
<br />
there's something about the plants -<br />
their aliveness, their beauty -<br />
they quietly and gently touch inside me.<br />
<br />
and i'm wondering why i don't go hang out with them every single chance i get.<br />
<br />
why is that?<br />
why is it that the things that feed our souls<br />
aren't always at the top of our list of places to spend our time?<br />
<br />
excuses like heat, humidity and bugs fill my head.<br />
and i laugh at how i can misdirect myself over and over again.<br />
<br />
and how mild discomforts can end up leading me.<br />
shouldn't the deep comfort take charge?<br />
<br />
i'm thinking yes.<br />
<br />
i am so thinking yes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-16203731353199261612015-06-16T12:09:00.001-04:002015-06-16T12:09:14.572-04:00our newsletterand our newsletter went out today!<br />
<br />
for anyone who doesn't get that delivered to them in their<br />
email box, you can<a href="http://www.bonesigharts.com/newsletter/june_15.html"> find it here.</a>.<br />
come on over and check out the latest news!terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-17750093264532527032015-06-15T15:19:00.004-04:002015-06-15T15:19:44.853-04:00a reminder<br />
sometimes there are phrases or sentences or even just words<br />
that someone will say while talking to me,<br />
and without them even realizing it,<br />
the world inside my head stops a moment<br />
and something inside me reaches out<br />
and catches those words in mid air.<br />
<br />
this happened the other day with these words -<br />
<br />
'it may not be what you want, but it's what you got.'<br />
<br />
bam.<br />
<br />
i never know what it will be or when.<br />
but something happens inside me.<br />
and it truly is like everything stopping<br />
and something being caught and tucked away inside my mind.<br />
<br />
i have said many many times to friends in tough places<br />
things like - 'okay, this is what's been dealt, and we gotta<br />
figure out what we're doing with it.'<br />
<br />
so i think the fact that i say that kinda thing shows i think<br />
in that fashion. maybe that's what sparks the echo of someone<br />
else's words. it hits on how i think and speaks so directly<br />
to me i have to turn my face to it.<br />
<br />
i really like the thought.<br />
sometimes you can change something.<br />
and i'm all in favor of changing things for the better.<br />
but sometimes they're not yours to change.<br />
and it may not be what you wanted,<br />
but it's what you got.<br />
<br />
and i think when you realize that,<br />
you can move forward.<br />
<br />
at least for me, i tend to wallow.<br />
and if something isn't like i want,<br />
i wallow about that.<br />
and if i can't change it,<br />
i wallow with extra wallowiness.<br />
<br />
i get stuck on the fact that it's not what i wanted.<br />
and then kinda remain in a stuck holding pattern.<br />
<br />
if you stay there, you end up being a victim.<br />
<br />
if you move forward, you're doing just that - moving forward.<br />
and that's what i want. these words help me get unstuck.<br />
<br />
in thinking about this, i realized it can fit for anything from these darn ants<br />
that keep invading my house, to serious grief over a loss.<br />
<br />
it may not be what you want, but it's what you got.<br />
<br />
then you figure out what you wanna do with that.<br />
<br />
of course.<br />
we all knew that.<br />
it's just that i forget way too often.<br />
and need the reminder.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-45436274099683465972015-06-12T14:55:00.004-04:002015-06-12T14:55:52.043-04:00thinkingi've been struggling for days with how to deal with something.<br />
and no, this has nothing to do with my new roomie.<br />
altho, it's prolly something to really keep in mind for everything,<br />
including him.<br />
<br />
here's the first thought - the struggle has been hard.<br />
which feels like a real bummer.<br />
<br />
today is the first day i can see that it may not be a bummer at all.<br />
it may just be something i really really need to struggle with.<br />
<br />
just thinking that kinda changes the game.<br />
<br />
okay.<br />
<br />
so if i agree to that,<br />
maybe i can loosen up the tightness i feel inside.<br />
<br />
and i think i can.<br />
<br />
and i think in that loosening i can loosen the tightness all around.<br />
<br />
the other thing i realized yesterday was really all i could do was deal with<br />
my own self. can't change anyone else, and no one else is asking for my<br />
feedback. soooooo it's me i gotta focus on.<br />
<br />
and that right there is huge.<br />
<br />
where you put the focus.<br />
<br />
and i think there's a natural course to how that focus happens.<br />
it's gonna naturally focus on the other person at first.<br />
i'm not enlightened, and that's just plain ol' normal.<br />
focus outside yourself for the change.<br />
yeah.<br />
that never gets me very far.<br />
funny how that's still my first place of focus.<br />
<br />
but having learned a lot as i've traveled,<br />
i can accept that the focus might not be in the healthiest place<br />
to start with - but it's up to me to turn that focus to the spot that needs it.<br />
<br />
me.<br />
<br />
not anyone else.<br />
<br />
i had the thought yesterday and also knew that i had a lotta emotions<br />
inside me and i wasn't gonna just be able to turn the focus with a click of the fingers.<br />
<br />
again, progress.<br />
there's a certain respect for allowing my own timing.<br />
<br />
and it's now, this afternoon, i feel like maybe i can really start to focus where i need to.<br />
<br />
focus on the things that make me feel safe, seen and happy.<br />
and focusing on the journey itself.<br />
the growing that i'm doing right now.<br />
and keepin' my eye on the love that i want to live.<br />
<br />
sigh.<br />
<br />
there's still some decent bummers i'm sure i'll experience thru this struggle.<br />
but maybe i can keep my eye on the path and take it where i need to go.<br />
<br />
watchin' the trees blow in the wind outside my window and feeling like<br />
everything is just where it needs to be.......even now.<br />
gonna try to keep that in mind.<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-45495336424296793462015-06-11T11:06:00.002-04:002015-06-11T11:06:44.124-04:00sharing juliei just 'met' julie yesterday.<br />
i offered to spread her book in our newsletter before i even knew what her book<br />
was about. when she sent me a link that explained the book, everything just<br />
stopped over here.<br />
<br />
wow.<br />
<br />
talk about putting life in perspective.<br />
<br />
you'll find her link in our newsletter next week.<br />
<br />
but i am so moved right now, i wanted to share it here as well.<br />
<br />
take a moment and check julie out.<br />
<a href="http://www.whatiwouldtellyou.com/">you can find her here.</a><br />
<br />
julie, thank you for this offering.terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-28974035429093657752015-06-10T12:18:00.002-04:002015-06-10T12:18:45.566-04:00inspirationi was lucky enough to get to go see an awesome musical last nite - 'newsies.'<br />
it was fabulous and full of youthful guy energy.<br />
i love that energy.<br />
<br />
and it was perfect timing as i had decided that today i was gonna sink my teeth into my life.<br />
<br />
since i was out late and up super early, a little inspiration was definitely needed.<br />
<br />
now, i realize i'm not a youth. and i'm not a guy.<br />
but that energy.<br />
ohmygosh.<br />
it lit me right up.<br />
<br />
and it created a really interesting contrast for me as well.<br />
<br />
before the show, i sat people watching.<br />
i saw a lotta different people go by in the city.<br />
and only TWO of them were smiling.<br />
that was it.<br />
<br />
granted, the work day was ending, people had worked<br />
long hours, i'm sure. and it was warm out. and i'm sure people<br />
were tired.<br />
<br />
but my gosh.<br />
only TWO people smiling?<br />
<br />
there was just a real lethargy i was seeing everywhere.<br />
<br />
and then.<br />
bam!<br />
dancing and singing and energy bursting off the stage.<br />
<br />
i sat there wanting that energy.<br />
certainly not wanting the other.<br />
<br />
i'm lucky enough i can have it.<br />
well, maybe not exactly.<br />
like i say, not a youth, not a guy.<br />
but! that healthy alive 'i wanna live' stuff -<br />
yeah, i can have that.<br />
and just the fact that that is an option, is a huge huge gift.<br />
<br />
it's up to me.<br />
it's up to how i care for myself,<br />
and what i give my time to.<br />
it's what i eat, what i don't eat.<br />
it's what i think and what i focus on.<br />
<br />
talk about inspiration for my sink my teeth into life day.<br />
<br />
it's our day.<br />
our life.<br />
what energy do you want to choose?<br />
what energy are you lucky enough to have a choice in?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7731762173286561871.post-48925497457114269522015-06-09T15:26:00.002-04:002015-06-09T15:26:35.153-04:00yard lessonsa few years back when my street was widened,<br />
they put in a drainage ditch along the edge of my front yard.<br />
well, everyone's front yard.<br />
not just mine.<br />
just one of those normal ditches you see everywhere.<br />
it's grassy and just lets the water flow down the street.<br />
i've got a pipe under the driveway.<br />
that kinda thing.<br />
<br />
no big deal.<br />
<br />
until i go to mow it.<br />
<br />
then it feels like a canyon.<br />
<br />
well, the first few times of the season that i mow it, that is.<br />
<br />
my gosh,<br />
maybe it's more accurate to say it feels like a mountain.<br />
<br />
a canyony mountain.<br />
the great divide.<br />
the embarrassing it's really not that big, why is it so hard to mow?? spot.<br />
<br />
whatever it is, it's been difficult.<br />
i grunt, and push, and push harder, and sweat, and<br />
almost lose my shoes right off my feet as i try to push that mower<br />
along. seriously, i've had to bend down and tie my shoes tighter.<br />
and seriously? it's not that big a ditch.<br />
<br />
so i notice it.<br />
cause i can't figure out why it's so hard for me.<br />
<br />
and i've watched.<br />
and i see it's become easier.<br />
ha!<br />
i figured my arms were getting stronger.<br />
that's cool.<br />
<br />
and then a couple of weeks ago, something weird happened.<br />
it was fun to mow.<br />
i actually got a kick out of it.<br />
and i tried to figure out why.<br />
and i felt like i was dancing with it.<br />
<br />
so then this whole new concept came into my brain.<br />
'dance with the ditch. learn it's curves. move with it.'<br />
<br />
cool, right?<br />
but the next time wasn't that easy.<br />
darn.<br />
i'm not dancing so great.<br />
i was a little bummed about that.<br />
<br />
so each time is different. but mostly getting easier.<br />
<br />
kinda like a lotta life's challenges, i thought today as i mowed it once again.<br />
<br />
this ditch is a lot like life.<br />
<br />
my attitude goin' into it all definitely matters.<br />
the more i listen and groove with it, the easier it is.<br />
i get stronger and stronger as i go along tryin' to deal with it.<br />
sometimes it's so darn aggravating and sometimes it's funny.<br />
and sometimes it just is.<br />
<br />
it really is a lot like life.<br />
<br />
i decided i needed to play with the ditch.<br />
use a different visual each time i mowed it.<br />
today in trying to decide if it was a canyon or not -<br />
i couldn't figure out if canyons got windy.<br />
seems like every time i'm over there, there's a breeze.<br />
so i pictured a windy canyon.<br />
then got stuck on the facts.<br />
are canyons windy?<br />
and then i laughed at the sheer craziness of my trying to be factual<br />
as i make up a visual.<br />
<br />
a car drove by just then and i said to myself 'let's make the cars be bears.'<br />
and then i really started laughing. yeah, let's be factual as we make this stuff up.<br />
<br />
so okay.<br />
i found a new playground.<br />
in a place that's been a challenge to me.<br />
<br />
and i realized as i wiped the sweat off my face today,<br />
i really can learn a lot about living life right here in my yard.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />terri st. cloudhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15051778033153655065noreply@blogger.com0