having and being reminders......

in a conversation yesterday, i remembered a book i read called
'to have or to be' by erich fromm.

it came up because it was such an influential thought in that book,
i remember actually having the thought before i read the book,
then finding the book and having the thought become more cemented inside of me
and being so excited. knowing it was a life changer.

until i forgot all about it.

ah, so typical of me.

i pulled it off my shelf to have to relook at it. i'm sure the topic will
weave thru the blogs.

i opened it up this morning to the section on love.
of course.

'can one have love?  if we could, love would need to be a thing, a substance
that one can have, own, possess. the truth is, there is no such thing as 'love.'
....in reality there exists only the act of loving. to love is a productive activity.
it implies caring for, knowing, responding, affirming, enjoying. it means bringing
to life, increasing his/her/its aliveness. it is a process, self-renewing and self-increasing.'

'when love is experienced in the mode of having it implies confining, imprisoning,
or controlling the object one 'loves.' ......what people call love is mostly a misuse
of the word. '

woe.
talk about a reminder.

you know, for someone who really wants to be love,
i screw up a whole lot.

i'm off for my walk (been waiting for it to get a tad bit more light outside)
and gonna take this reminder with me.

to have or to be.........in every situation in life..........
it's not to 'have.'
that's not what i want.

so maybe i'd better start acting like i really do want to 'be.'