Wednesday, February 8, 2012

those darn journals!

okay so something so exciting is going on inside of me.
and i'm really really not sure how to convey it!
but i totally want to try!!

for new year's i started a journal thing. several journal
entries in the morning over breakfast. one's an intention
journal, one's a gratitude journal, and one's notes to my
little self.

i'm not crazy strict about it. i don't do it on weekends,
but get most weekdays in.

and it's really doin' awesome things that i just had no idea
would happen.

first of all  - the inner child journal - just short little notes to
my inner child....well you'd think no big deal, right?

but i tell ya!~ when i write them, i tune in to that part of me.
and i can feel myself tuning in. and i can feel how good it feels.
so every morning (almost) there's this intentional tuning in.
that feels good and healing.

it's fabulous!!

but the one that i see actually changing my days is the intention one.

cause what's happening is very simple, very basic......and very helpful.

i'm becoming AWARE of what's going on inside of me.

for example - monday morning when i sat down to write my intention,
i was exhausted. there was some drama around me that had interrupted
my sleep and continued into a hard morning. my intention was really simple
something like - allow myself the fatigue and don't push too hard. recognize
it and let it be there.

okay. fine. good. no big deal.

but i pay attention to that all day.
i don't forget now.
i leave it on my desk where i see it.
i don't chug coffee to get thru. i do what i can and what feels right.
i'm aware.

tuesday morning i sit to write, and i feel more rested but unsettled from all
the drama. by stopping and tuning in just then, i can feel i'm off center.
okay......so i write something about doing things to center myself that day.
pay attention and aim towards centering.

and so i do!
same deal, i'm aware of it all day and intentionally aim there.

okay......so fine. good. no big deal.

until this morning.......
i've now allowed the fatigue. then i've gently allowed the centering. made
space for it.

so this morning i feel good. even when there's a few goofy things that kinda
rattle that......something else will come thru and settle it right back down.
i notice this because as i sat down to do my intention, i could feel the good
mood bubblin' inside. so the intention is something like 'allow the good mood
to come on out and play.' and it does!

and i watch...and i see it happening.

and i'm thinking this good mood is a direct result of the last two days of
allowing myself what i needed.

ohmygosh.

again.......so simple.......so basic.....and soooooo darn cool!

and it's another example of where i woulda said, oh yeah, i tune in and
oh yeah, i know what i need during the day.

insert raspberry noise here please.

cause this is showing me such another level!

and you know darn well there's a whole bunch more deeper levels to go!

and i'm thrilled......and wanted to share!

2 comments:

Alix said...

what a great idea having multiple journals like that... each serving a different purpose! i just recently started an emotional journal... capturing moods and feelings... those realizations that make you feel better... etc. I need a Child Withing Journal!! ooh and maybe an Elder within Journal too! And Intentions... how brilliant is that? Thank you! I love how you honored all the feelings... the good and the bad, didnt back away from them... that takes real courage! ♥

terri st. cloud said...

thanks, alix! like your idea of an emotional journal!! how cool!