powerful acts

the power our acts have over other people
is astounding.

i heard a story this morning where it wasn't
a good thing. where i'm sure it left a pretty
deep mark, and yet the one with the power
doesn't even know he left yet another mark.

no, that's not true.
he knows. he just doesn't know he knows
at the moment. or at least on the top level.
he knows somewhere down deep. and maybe,
if we're lucky, we can gently talk about it at
some point.

that's a maybe. it's not really my goal.

i figured out that my goal can't be about other
people getting things.

it's gotta be about me really seeing and learning.

what i see here is fatigue and hurt leading up to
a point that makes you unable to rally at a moment
that matters. and that leads to deeper fatigue and
hurt...on both parts.

and the power turns in a negative direction.

i can see the importance of realizing your strength
is low...and going a little bit slower with what's
happening because of that.

i put this on my own not so great moments when
what i did affected another. the times that went badly
were times that i didn't slow down, times that i put
me ahead of them.

my fatigue, my impatience, my not wanting to deal
with it anymore....over their need, their ideas, their
value.

when i really look at it like that, i cringe.

and i think it's a great thing to really look at.
the deeper the cringe, the more aware i'll be next
time.

the power our acts have over other people is
astounding.

i need to brand that on my heart and hold that
with all the respect it deserves.