it's not alone...it's with myself!

i talked to a friend yesterday about bein' on
the journey alone and she hesitated because i think
at first she was thinking i was talkin' about not
needing people, not leaning.

oh my no.
i need people. and leaning is something i know how
to do well!

but there's a big difference between needing help
and support from friends....and needing things that
only you can give yourself.

THAT'S the journey alone. getting what you need from
you.

i think i've slipped there. i think i've been looking
for things people can't give.

what's that about???

and why??

that seems to be the killer of any relationship.
any kind of relationship.
bam.
kill.
zap.

why would you do that??

is it because i get lazy?
or do i just not see straight when i get comfortable??

i don't know what it is.....
but there's no good reason for it.
and you might as well give your relationships away if
you go in that direction, ter.

you might as well give yourself away.
because that's what you're doin'.
you're kinda messin' up everyone's power when you go
in that direction.

i see this as a real chance to get back on track.
a real chance to see who i am and work with myself.

i remember once havin' this thought...
what if i treated my inner self like i treat my best
girlfriend.
i pictured my friend coming into my kitchen and how i
listen with interest with all she has to say and how i
support her so easily.
what if i did that with myself???

well, all this journey alone talk.....it's not alone.
it's with ME!
my best girlfriend!
what if i actively, with awareness and presence, traveled
with myself???

and allowed everyone else to pop in as they did.

my gosh.
i love this.