colliding thoughts...

started out the walk with two thoughts
buzzin' thru my head...they collided
and landed into a third....

told a friend that i was feelin' that
spark again. that it had been almost two
years since i've felt it, but i had that
same ol' spark back.

nope.
stop.
wrong.

ha!!!

something hit me!
it's not the SAME spark!
it's way way better.......way deeper.

how cool is that?!

are you kiddin me, ter?
after walkin' the walk of the last two years,
how could it not be??

it's as if a devilish god (eww...interesting
combo of words) sat in the sky and said 'let's
create some really great situations to make
ms. ter close her heart down! look at this..if
we put her here, with these people, oh look...
she squirms! is that her heart i hear lockin'
up??

oh look....if we put this darkness around her..
oh look.....she closes up real nice there.

grin.

no.
i don't believe that's how it works at all.
but as i walked and pictured the last two years,
i thought it all could fit into that scene for
sure!

and i have closed. and i have squirmed. and tensed,
and fought, and kicked, and screamed.

and made it to the other side. somehow.

for now.

but this other side is further down the road than
when i went in with that certain spark.

the spark i carry now is different....
deeper. way deeper.

which brought me colliding into my other thought...

someone i love is in icky waters. the waters of
that empty feelin'. that kinda just lost and empty
stuff. i went out with her in my pocket, thinking
of her and wondering what i could do for her. and
knowing there isn't much cause when you're there,
you're there.

thought of the desserts of my own the past few years.

and then i thought of where i was this morning.
and i got all excited for her.
grin.
she'll just love me for that one.
but i knew it was taking her to a better spot.
she's the kinda person who will take it and travel
well. this dessert will add depth to her spark.

the thoughts were bouncin' around hittin' off of
each other by the time i hit my 'good morning world'
spot.

the end of my road, after the pretty stretch with the
trees is the busy highway. not the place you'd think
i'd say good morning to the world. but if you turn
just a little bit, and block the cars from view, and
pretend they aren't there, and look out over these
pine trees, and squint a bit, you could almost be in
vermont.

so i do that every morning, look at the sky and say hey
to my day. (josh taught me this)

today i stopped and thought of what was ahead of me today,
what i wanted to do with those things...

and my other thoughts kept on zoomin' around and bumped
right into that one.

bam.

it's our day.
whether it's in the dessert, the rainforest, the airport,
the kitchen, the studio....it's where we are.
feelin' blah, or spark filled, it's where we are, what
we've got.

reach out, ter,
and hold it and see it for the gift that it is...