my toy box

i was sittin' here tryin' to figure out how i feel.
the first thing that came to my mind was a picture of a
big ol' black witche's stew pot. filled with all kindsa
things....

but it didn't quite work.......

and then....a big box of toys came to mind.
sitting on the floor with a box of toys in my lap.
diggin' thru. finding really pretty things that made
me light up with delight, finding worn out things that
i love and make me feel all good inside, and finding
things that i've out grown and don't matter to me anymore....
there were things that lost their shine and weren't
pretty anymore......things that were broken and needed
to be thrown out but were still there. things covered with
all the gunk from the bottom of the box...

oh man......i could go on forever.
but that's how i feel. you get the idea.
maybe.
grin.

like i've got this big box of life sittin' on my lap.
filled with every kinda thing there is.

and i've got different things in my hands all the time.
i keep changing things in my hands.
one minute it's really good....the next really hard....
one minute i'm clear...the next totally fuzzy....

the thing i think that i like most about the whole thought
is it's all in my hands.

not a control thing.
don't mean that.
well...control in a way......but more control of
my choices....

i mean i get to choose which things i'll pick up and
hold and pay attention to. and i get to choose how long
i'll do that.

i kinda like that thought.....