owning your soul and feeding it

so i got to watch elderly father and grown son.
i've watched them before. knew some of the dynamics
already. but always curious to see more.

already knew there was anger in the pop. hidden,
just below the surface. i know that from my own pop,
he carried anger the same way. so it fascinates me
even more. my own pop is gone. i can watch these
interactions and learn. two very different people,
one very familiar anger.

and so i watched.
son went in loving.
of course, i'm in love with the son and i see all the
goodness in him. but i'm not so blind that i don't see
when he's bein' a clod. no cloddishness at this point.
love and concern and helpfulness.

unseen by the elder.
the elder was seein' what he wanted to see.

oh. so interesting to watch.

the son tryin' hard to keep it good.
the elder dealing with resentments and anger that have
nothing to do with the moment.

this was going to be a fascinating weekend.
and so it was.

my head is filled with questions.
what's floating around most right now is the elder.
creating a life that's empty.
eyes that don't see.
the victim.

when i sit and think of how important attitude is
and say things like 'attitude is everything'....my mind
mostly goes to being positive and seein' the good.
but there's a whole lot more, isn't there??

seein' your own choices. knowing your life is up to you.
seeing the people around you. getting to know the ones
you claim to love. staying fluid, growing, changing, and
seeing the change and growth in the world around you.
all that matters a ton, doesn't it?

it's not just being positive. it's owning your soul
and feeding it.

owning your soul and feeding it.

ohhhh i do like that.

so now.
how? how does one do that?

and the questions continue........