phone conversations

he hates religion now. just hates it. and right now,
it's totally understandable. has had one of the worst
experiences you can with it.

and so we talk. and we joke. and we talk some more.

he makes fun of my talk of energy. i grin. it's okay....
i can never articulate it right anyway.

at the end i feel like i gotta say something. not sure
what, but it's coming out anyway.....

i tell him that i haven't a clue about god. and that when
his darkness came over his life, it overlapped into mine.
that as i sat in the room with him, i was feelin' pretty
lost too. and while i don't know what 'god's' involvement
was in what happened....i do know that there was a ton of
love inside of me for him. that that love and that closeness
and that caring was alive in me. and as far as i know,
that right there is god. and while the room was the blackest
i had ever seen black, the light was still there in the love
that i carried and others carried.

and chances are we aren't going to figure out if there's a
god in the sky....but we can feel the stuff i'm talkin' about
inside of us. and we have to get to a point where we decide
if we're gonna open to that stuff inside of us, or close to
it.

and that's where we really need to make the decision.

somehow i worded it right and he heard the love in my voice.

i don't think he really heard much beyond my love for him....
but maybe that's all he needed to hear.

and maybe it's me who needed to hear the rest...