a list

i'm mullin' the almighty heidi's thoughts...
(see post below)

and i'm thinkin' about life....

ya know, there are places i'm good at making
life meaningful and fulfilling.
i do a good job. it's not perfect,
and i can always find room for improvement...
but i feel basically good about it.

and then there's other places that just give
me such a run for my money.

i go back and forth on how to handle them.
i go back and forth on how much involvement i
want with/in them.
i struggle with the emotions of them.

it's not just one place like that.
i have a little list of them.

hmmmm........

maybe that list is where i should be looking.

right off the top of my head i can think of
three big places in my life like that.

wow.

i don't think i've ever made that list
before.

bet it gets way longer when i sit and think
about it a bit.

those struggling spots....those are the things
that take a lotta energy outta just living.

i'm thinking i need to really come to terms with
them bein' what they are and enjoyin' what i
can from them and letting the rest be.

ya know what i think i want to do?
i think i want to list as many parts of my life
as i can....and kinda see how much energy i'm
giving to each part.

maybe move the energy around a bit.
maybe redirect the flow.

oh, ms. almighty heidi....you started something
here!

i actually really dig that idea!!!

my dad was big into lists.
he'd be tickled.
i'm big into energy.
seems like a good combination.

he'd roll his eyes on this one,
tell me i'm speakin' in fluff but
the basic idea was a sound one.

well, there then.
let's do it!
well......at least i will.......

should be interesting......