touching love....

ha!
something way way cool happened today!
and it's not even noon!

how to explain.....hmmmmm.....

there's a hard thing that's been goin' on
since i've met him. it's prolly one of the
main reasons we got to know each other.
and one of the reasons i thought we'd never
make it together....

it's been many many hours of conversations.
many many tears and sorrow. a whole boat load
of frustration, a mountain of patience, and miles
and miles of screwin' up on everybody's part.

i don't know how many times i've had the thought
that we won't be able to weather it. that it will
pull us apart.

and today....as clear as clear could be....i saw
how far he and i had come with it. and i saw how
much he and i had grown thru it.

and i was dazzled by what we had done together between
us. it has been no easy task, that's for sure.
and it ain't over. that's for sure too. but it's the first
time i ever really saw what we had built between us
with all of this.

i called to check on him.
asked him how he was.
nervous was the answer.

and somehow i understood that nothing else mattered
except that he be allowed to do whatever he needed
to do his way. even if that meant doing nothing.

i opened the gate, cleared away the weeds,
spread a blanket, and said i just wanna be your friend.
i'll hang here as long as you need me to.

he understood what i was putting aside, he understood
where we'd been and all that we've been thru.
he acknowledged it in his own way and took his spot
on the blanket.

the hard part is in front of him.
there will be much darkness coming his way.

but all these years we've been workin' on it....
one thing got prepared without me even knowing it...
us.
me.

whether he walks straight into the darkness,
or he lets the mist surround him slowly....

it's up to him.

somewhere i learned something thru all of this.

i learned to allow it. i saw that today.
wow.
i couldn't believe it.

funny.
all these years i looked for a different outcome.
i looked for different lessons.
i looked for others to learn love.

silly girl....
it's me who learned.
and i certainly didn't do it the easy way!

allowing someone the space they need to be.

another thing that sounds pretty and i like to think
i do....

but it's moments like this i know it didn't come
easy.....and it certainly wasn't natural for me...

but together....he and i did it.
together, today on that phone....we touched love.