one heck of a christmas present!

ohmygosh.
i call it my psychic phone booth, right?
(the shower)
ohmygosh....
i think the universe just gave me my
christmas present.
now.
if i can keep it and hold it....

was tryin' to figure out my dream (see
post below) and rather than write volumes
of where my mind went....here's the bottom
line message i got in the psychic phone
booth....

there is stuff goin' on that i cannot
comprehend, and i don't need to. the parts
i can see scare me because they threaten
me in some of my most vulnerable spots.
drop the fear. i am loved beyond anything
i can imagine. (this goes for everyone)
it's a love that's beyond us. that surrounds
us, that is inside all of us.
being loved is something that exists in
spades and there's no need to fear the lack
of that. i do not need to see it manifested
round me in particular people. it's there,
see it or not. i need to know in my bones,
trust it, and offer myself with full and open
heart to this stuff that's goin' on that i can't
comprehend.

if i don't trust it, i will find myself in fear.
when i'm in fear, i won't be able to open the
way i'm needed to open right now.

so trust is vital. an open heart is vital right
now. give it and you will not regret it.

give it and you will give life.

wow oh wow oh wow....
i was just goin' to try to figure out a dream...
and that's what i got.

i think i just got my best christmas present ever.
now. if i can hold it!

i immediately go to my room to get dressed.
close the door.....see my reflection in orange
fuzzy slippers, camo bathrobe (yes, she did say
CAMO!) and messed up hair and thought.....
yeah, right. how can this person be loved???
and then i shushed that thought.
saw the orange fuzzy slippers that my kids gave
me last christmas because they love me, saw
the camo bathrobe that reminds me of that goofy
guy in my life...and knew i was wrapped in love.

and this love that i got the thoughts on just now....
it's something way wilder than those orange
slippers.....

and i've got to trust it.....

i've got to.