different parts of me....

walkin' with little terri today....
wanted to talk to her about the loss stuff
that i figured out this weekend. (see posts
below).....

interesting.
i always know when it's particularly tough
as my mind wanders everywhere else but where
i had intended it to go.

i watch myself do that, and drag myself back
to the point.

and so....
we talked.
and i acknowledged.
and i got very sad.
because i didn't know what to do with the loss
stuff....
and instead of tryin' to buck up and be a trooper...
i just got sad....and i let that part of me know
that this part of me was sad too.

it was like a release or something.
i don't know.
but it felt really right to just feel it.

and then, together, we tried to figure out how to
make it better. how to take back some stuff we
needed.

i had one small idea in mind already.
we came up with another one. a bigger one.

and prolly most important....we came up with an
understanding....

a trying to work together.

it was kinda cool.

as bizarre as all this different parts of me sounds
to talk about...it's just the coolest thing to work with.

getting your different parts to see each other and work
with each other...well, that would be kinda awesome,
wouldn't it???

i think i took another step in that direction this morning.

feels kinda good.