forward

i had a friend pop in my email box last nite
in the middle of some kinda weird moment i was
having.

i unloaded on him. he was great.

before i went to bed, i thanked him for his help.
he said something about friends of ten years don't
need thanks.

huh?!
did he say TEN YEARS?!
oh my gosh.

back when my marriage fell apart and my divorce
was going on, i lost something totally unexpected.
time.
any sense of any time frames.

it's so hard for me to put things in time frames now.
i lost a lotta years just tryin' to stand up there
thru it all. and that seemed to mess the time frame
thing up permanently for me. it's the oddest thing.

but ten years?! wow. you'd think i'd have some grasp
of that.

then throw in the conversations i'm having with a girlfriend
i met thirty five years ago! oh wow. it's too weird.

to put out the line 'where does the time go?' seems too
trite. no one would stop and think about that line.

'cept me.
i'm stopping and thinking about it.
and wondering.
WHERE the heck DOES the time go?!!

there was a great ending line on a mash episode i watched
with the boys last nite (yeah, me and my sons are reliving
my television youth!)...the priest (who i can't spell his last
name)....said something about not understanding what part
we are in it all, but that's okay. the important thing was
just to move forward.

something like that.
i totally creamed it.
but that's the gist.

i keep tryin' to move forward.
but where's all that behind me stuff?!
i guess it's part of forward in its own weird way.....

it must be part of that quantum entanglement stuff!

to have lived long enough that ten years is a blink....
wow.....
it's just too weird.

and all you can do is just keep moving forward.

yes...but what IS forward?!

hmmmmm.......