my best friend in the whole world threw me for
a loop today. i looked at him and told him....
he was overwhelming me. i was confused.
i saw real clearly how i wanted it all to make
sense in my head. i saw real clearly that my
figuring things out was my security.
if i understood it, i could trust it.
i didn't understand it....soooooo.......
he looked at me and i knew that i had a choice
right then.
screw it up by need for security, or trust him.
let me tell ya something....
i've screwed things up plenty of times for my
need for security.
so it wasn't just a no brainer for me.
it was a leap.
and i leapt!
ha!
i just love it when i actually leap into
trust!
why the heck don't i do it more often if i love
it when i do it?!!!
oh man.
who knows.
but the big thing is i leapt!
or at least jumped. truthfully it wasn't a leap.
it was more of a jump.
but hey! jumps count!
and on the first day of the year....
ha!
jump! jump! jump!
and where i landed??
right smack into love.
ha!
go figure.
1 comment:
Hey Ter,
When I think about this kind of leap of faith I always get a visual of the sequined trapeze lady letting go of her bar and trusting that her sequined partner with catch him with his big man arm muscles. Talk about needing to trust. And practice. Don't they wear some kind of harness do-hickey when they are first learning? But eventually they get to where they can do flips and tricks. I think that might be where you're headed. Right now, maybe, you've still got the harness on. But you're on your way. One day soon, you'll be saying "I'm ready" and you'll fly through the air with the greatest of ease. No doubt in my mind love will be swinging by to catch you.
P.S. To carry this metaphor to a natural conclusion ... even if the worst thing happens, that you're timing is a little off and you miss your mark and you fall, well girlfriend, the good news is that there is a safety net there to catch you. That's where I/we come in. Your friends, family, co-workers, God. We're here to pick you up, brush you off, tell you where you might have gone wrong, then send you right back up that scary rope ladder to try again.
Love you,
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