a rainy morning walk.....

took a walk in the rain with yo yo this morning.
i told him not to come along as i didn't think i'd
be the greatest company around.

turned out he was.

he told me about things he learned about himself
as we helped josh move. i walked, listened, looked
over at him and loved it.

and then he told me that he wants to learn to embrace
change.

ah......
there ya go.
get that one down, and you're set for life.
and so we talked of change. and holding on.

told him i was stuck on the diving in and loving
with your whole heart and then letting go.

that just perplexes me.

the only way it makes any sense to me is if you
throw in total trust.

that's the only way i can even make it calculate.

great.

so we're back to trust.

not just trust.

but TOTAL trust.

man.

i don't know.
i find this whole living with your heart wide
open stuff incredibly challenging.

josh was explaining to some friends the other
day of the time i just quit. stopped. finished.
said i didn't want to do that anymore. no more
open heart stuff.

he was laughing and joking and saying no one knew
what to do when i hit that point. everyone just
stood around confused.

i had to laugh.
but he has no idea how many times i think i'll
just quit trying.

but you can't, can you?
i can't anyway.
what's the point if you're not tryin'?

and this morning as i listened to yo yo, i thought
about how cool a thing it was to learn from your kids.

they have always taught me things.
from day one.
and here, twenty years later, that kid is still
leading me along.

i'll watch yo work on embracing change....
and i'll try to tag along after him............

and we'll see where the journey takes us.