bein' a friend.

there are some things i just thought
came natural to me.

like being a friend.

i can be a friend.
i can be a really good friend.

but today....i'm lost on how to be one.

it, like so many things, got complicated.

i just finished talkin' with her.
told her.
told her i didn't know what to do here.

she said to follow my heart.

i told her what my heart was screaming.

and then i laughed thru tears.

my heart's screamin' something hers is not.

she's got medical decisions to make.
they're her decisions.
not mine.

i've been doin' the nudge thing.
even went so far as got a little pushy.

but stopped there.
told her that what mattered most to me was
to be her friend thru all this.

not to be a constant nag.

that i respected her.
that i needed to let her make her own decisions.
and i was struggling.

i asked her if she needed help with it.

i asked her if she'd let me know if she needed
my thoughts.

because i didn't feel right just putting them on her.

i gave her a thought she hadn't had before.
she thanked me.
but i don't think it's enough to move her into
my way of thinking....

and so.
how much do you really love her, ter?

how much do you really accept and respect her?

if it's as much as you say, then you step back,
you let her take her own journey, and you just
walk next to her.

you don't push, or pull.
you just walk next to.

i tell ya,
i had no idea being a friend would be this hard
for me.

i think what i would want.
and that's exactly what i would want.
someone to respect my wishes.
someone to respect my journey as mine.
someone to love me thru it all.
even when they didn't agree.

i think of the times i didn't get that.
and how i realized those people were never
there for me in the first place.

is it all pretty talk, ms. ter....
or can you be a real friend?

and so i cry a little more,
sip a little tea......
and hang on for the ride.

because i love her that much.