Thursday, April 23, 2009

what does she mean?

i just clicked off the blog, and realized that
someone's gonna say 'but terri, you love all the time.'
(see post below)

and i thought i'd address that because to me, it's
so important.

i do.
i really do.
and i'm good at it.

but that's the easy love.

that's the love that comes naturally, flows easily,
fits in with my dance steps and moves with me.
easy peasy.

i'm talkin' about the love that doesn't do that.
the love that's challenging.
the love that means if you can pull it off, you're
really pullin' it off.
that love!

the stuff that requires you to see people for who they
are and accept all of that. even when parts of it
the part that requires you to look at that hurt and
know it has nothing to do with them.
the part that requires you to look at yourself and
to understand your reactions, and get beyond them,
step around them, and give love back even when it feels
the part about giving love back to get nothing in
return. to just give it.
to honestly honestly just give it.
the part that requires bone deep acceptance.
the part that requires faith and a knowing and a belief
that it's all okay just as it is.
the part that requires trust beyond any trust you've ever
given. the part that requires giving beyond any giving
you've ever known.
the love that demands you to be all of who you are.

THAT stuff.
THAT stuff is where i'm just learning.
that's where i'm in kindergarten.

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