Wednesday, June 10, 2009

the dance of mothering....

walking and thinking about the dance of

and how hard it is to sit back and watch
these guys of mine deal with their own

mothering, i thought, has never been easy.
there's always an awareness, a watchfulness
that goes on....

that part of me doesn't rest. that part of
me is always on call.

and now, when i try to help one of my sons,
i think hard of what to say. i think hard
of the balance of helping and hindering.

and as i walked, i remembered the idea of

home schooling taught me this big time....
over and over again i was reminded to trust
their process. that when they were ready,
they would get what they needed to get.
it was my job to keep the doors open, and
offer guidance, but the most helpful thing
i could ever do was trust that they'd get
what they needed when they were ready.

that lesson was never easy to get to, but
over and over i would remember and step
into it.

again this morning, i remembered.

trust them.
believe in them.
know that they will get what they need to get.

that really is the best thing you can do for
anyone isn't it?
give them your total belief in them....

i will let him know today that he's got that.

and then i'll just step back.

it's a dance i wonder if i'll ever stop doing....
and it's a dance i wonder if it ever gets easier...

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