Wednesday, September 23, 2009

what's your goal?

i was making dinner. he was keeping me company.
i asked him about a situation in my life i was
feelin' conflicted over. i heard myself whine
and say i didn't know what to do.

he sat there, looked at me and asked 'what's
your goal?'

that's my line.
i taught it to him.
actually, it's my dad's line.
i stole it from my dad.

and i use it all the time.
it's a great question.
when you can't figure out what you're
doin', figure out what your goal is then
you can figure out how to best get to that goal.
it works wonders.
try it, you'll like it.

he and i have been usin' it together for years.
whenever it's tough with any issue in our lives,
that's the question.

this time, however, i ignored him.
i said some wishy washy stuff and asked him
what he thought.

'what's your goal?' he asked again.

again, i ignored him and gave paragraphs
about nothing and asked for his input.

on his third try with this question,
i turned from the counter, stared at him
and said 'are you tryin' to be helpful?'

and i started laughing.

who taught him that darn question anyway?

'are you sayin' i don't have a goal?'
i asked.

i didn't have a goal.
he didn't need to say it.
i said it.

i had some whiney thought of 'i just want it
to all be okay.'

good luck with that, ter.

we got interrupted and never got back to it.

but my dreams did.

i had an incredible dream that laid it all out
there for me.

i didn't like the dream.
but it was clear.
and i knew it.

i couldn't make it okay.

so i guess the goal is gettin' okay with it not
bein' okay. seems like that's a goal i get a lot.

my mom had a sentence she used a lot:
'life is messy.'

i guess it is.
i gotta get okay with that.

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