Thursday, October 29, 2009

seeing the not seeing

so there was this funky little blip in my life today.
my girlfriend called. she has really big hard stuff
goin' on. she asked me what was up.
told her i only have one story for her, she's got the
and told her about this funky little blip.

she was indignant for me as she knows the whole story.
and she said 'WHERE do people get the audacity they

and i laughed.

told her i'd been thinking about it.

it had gotten quiet here. i was alone working.
so i could think a bit.

and i don't think it took 'nerve' for this person to
do what they did.

i think they have no capacity to see me, so they
thought nothing of it.

i honestly believe that.

and i don't know why, but that feels real good
to be able to see that.

i'm calm about it.
i guess i don't need them to see.

it's so cool. and i see it as a chance to be peaceful
towards them. i see it as a chance to need nothing

it feels awesome.

she proceeded to tell me about her hard stuff.....
and it's really hard stuff. the big hard stuff.

in the big scheme of things, people not seeing and
doin' petty thoughtless things just doesn't matter
to me.....

that's not what i want to fill my life with.

i want to fill my life with seeing and caring.
so i'll see someone who can't see me.....because
i can do that.

and i'll be grateful that i can do that.

i figure when i hit my own hard stuff, this kinda
thing will help.


Sorrow said...

Not being seen
Not being heard
not always a bad thing

AlmightyHeidi said...

I see you and you are beautiful!!