Saturday, November 28, 2009

buildin' a shelf....

i pulled him aside before he left.
you doin' okay? what's botherin' you?

and so we talked.
'i didn't want to come in tellin' you
this was bothering me.' he said.

i looked at him.

'didn't you know you said it in a hundred
different ways tonite?'

he didn't know.

i've been thinking about that.

every single one of us does that every single

what's on our minds and preoccupying our insides
is totally coming out in our actions and words.

some people pick it up consciously.
some pick it up and never really understand
what they picked up.

there's energy mixin' out there.
and we're creating the vibe.

so what do we do with that????

there's always gonna be stuff botherin' us.

i think for me, my just sitting down and saying
'this is goin' on. and this is how i feel.'
helps me move forward to be able to set it
down for a bit and live more in the moment.

i think that's what i need.
just an acknowledgment of it all.
lettin' everyone in so they can understand
my funkiness. and then knowing that whatever
happens is okay. it's a giving permission
for the feeling to be there. and then being
able to put it down.

somehow that giving permission is important
to me. it changes things. it strangely takes
the power away from the feeling.

not sure if others need that.

maybe what we need is a shelf.
a shelf to put things on.
to let them be there. to know they're there.
to acknowledge them.

by placing them there, we get some sort of
relief and can put them down for a bit
and enjoy the other moments.

maybe we all need to figure out how to make
our shelves.

wouldn't it be cool if there were a 'shelf
building 101' we could all take? and we could
learn the best shelf building technique that
works for us!

i gotta remember that.
and start a new phrase in my family:
'i just gotta build a shelf here, hold this
nail, would ya?'

cause for me, i need other people holdin' the
nails. that's part of the whole process.


t2 said...

I learn so much from you. THANK YOU for that. <3

peggi said...

sign me up as a charter member. when does class begin?

Krista Youtz said...

This is a hard lesson, one of the hardest to endure. To be able to fully lean on others around you as you build yourself and let them hold the nails~a give and take and a major role in trusting those around you enough to hold that shelf up while you are hammering in the nails one by one. This is beautifully written Terri!