Wednesday, November 18, 2009

gettin' comfortable with it....

he stopped by yesterday.
i hadn't seen him in ages.
where ya been!!??? i exclaimed when i saw him.

he started out sheepish....
he'd gotten into a little trouble, he said...

and then we started talkin'.
he's been going to some AA meetings.
it was mandatory. not his choice.

i hesitated for a second, unsure of the
appropriateness and then tossed the hesitation
away. too tired of games this week, i just
asked 'do you think you have a problem?'

he was uncomfortable with the question.
i wasn't.
so i talked for a bit.
i could see him relax.
and we talked more freely.

after he left i thought of all the different
people i've met and all the different struggles.
and all the different ways we isolate ourselves
with it.

keep it in.
don't talk about it.
don't share.
don't want people to see us.
don't want to look. don't want to see.

i'm tired of that stuff.
it doesn't work.

i saw something yesterday.
if i'm not uncomfortable, that helps.
a lot.
i also saw it was when i open my vulnerabilities
to him, he could do the same.
i know that already.
but i watched it yesterday and clearly saw it.

to see you have to allow yourself to be seen.
and being comfortable with that deepens the
entire deal.....

so much to practice......
so much to learn.....

so much to share....
so much to touch....

so much to live.....

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