Wednesday, November 4, 2009

slippin' and slidin'......

somehow the world tilted....or maybe the moon
pulled me....i don't know......
but i slid right outta this really good place
i've been standing on.

i spent some time tryin' to figure out why.
had several explanations....but who cares?
i'm here. in this funky weird spot.

i noticed my shadow as i walked.
a lone shadow walkin' along...i watched it
for a bit. i couldn't figure out the feeling
i was kinda sad....kinda lonely...
but more haunting....echoing.......

i looked up at the moon and wondered if
it was really pulling me. then i looked again
and couldn't find it.

who loses the moon???

'don't leave me.' i thought in a way that
was a bit too desperate.

i noticed the desperate.
what are you feelin', ter?

i thought of yesterday.
three different times these really negative
self doubt thoughts flooded in.
i actually noticed each time.
saw it. went 'woe!' and then put it down.
that's way cool that i noticed and could put
them down......bu they've been floating around.

along with that wave of 'what's it all about??'
that wave keeps washin' over me.

i don't like that wave.
it always makes me feel incredibly lost.

i toyed a bit with my new 'yin yang principal.'
but about all i got out of that was it was okay i was
feelin' this way...

but as i walked into my driveway, i think it hit.

i looked at yo's truck.
a woman who's like a mom to me gave the truck to
yo years ago. it's such a symbol of both of them.
it's totally love and goodness. this silly blue
truck in my driveway.

i felt that feeling inside me.

then i looked over at the pile of leaves zakk had
started and left....and i felt the gratitude for

and the yin yang principle came to life inside me.

yeah.....i feel
part of me does. and i'm gonna respect that and
accept that.

at the same time.....there's so much good right
around me that i can't ignore it.

i just have to keep the balance and keep holdin'
all of it......

lookin' at the truck and leaf pile, it was easy.

i may have to go out there a few more times today
just to look and remind myself....

there are so many parts to the cycle of life.....
and i just slid into this one...but it's not the
only one i'm in.

somehow that helps.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Remember during labor you had a visual of a guy surfing a huge wave? And your goal was to keep that guy on the surf board?
Well, you're the guy now. Ride the wave. Stay balanced. Stay upright. The ride is short and will be over before you know it.