it'd been awhile since we had sat and talked.
i wasn't sure how we'd do.
but i wanted to try.
be open, i told myself.
don't try to fix things.
be accepting and loving and just enjoy.
there was the first awkward moment....
but it didn't last long.
he was hungry to talk, to share.
he had a lot inside him he wanted to get out.
i wanted to just be.
i wanted to work on just being present,
accepting someone else for wherever they were
and to try to operate from a place of love.
it was a good combination.
we did really well.
we were just gettin' rollin' when some others
their self absorption was so strong that it
covered the table.
years ago i would have stayed. i would have sat
there and humored the ones who sat down and then
i would have left knowing i just wasted my time.
the place of love i was operating from included
love towards myself also. it was the coolest thing.
that's taken a long time to even get near. the
balancing of love for others and love for me...
i smiled, said hello. made a couple comments to
test the waters. saw this wasn't a place i wanted
to be anymore, and excused myself.
the freedom i felt in walking out of there was
i got in my car and headed home.
snuggled back on my couch under a blanket with a book.
and knew that i was growing.