Monday, March 29, 2010

getting my attention

i took the long way today.
i had a goal in mind.

i needed to pray.

now.
what the heck do i even mean by that,
i don't know.

i know i'm not praying to a god in the sky
who's watching me. i'm not sure if i'm trying
to connect to some energy that's outside of me,
i mostly think i'm trying to tune in to what's
deeply deeply inside of me.

i'm really not sure what i mean by praying.

but i knew i needed to.

i have been pushed to my limits in different ways
lately and i needed to tune in to whatever was goin' on.

when i first started bone sighs, i walked and
talked to the universe constantly. promised to
follow my heart and listen to the things i heard.

i figured it was time for one of those talks.

and so i walked. and asked whatever it was i was
asking, what was up? what was going on? what was
i sposed to do?

walking under my trees, i even said out loud 'what
are you doing? you have my attention.'

and then, it occurred to me.....
my attention wouldn't be turned this way without
this push.

i gasped.

is that's what's goin' on? i asked out loud.
is all this to get my attention???

and just as i said that a car came whizzing down
the street straight at me.

i am not kidding.

it was aimed straight at me, going fast.

my eyes got big.
i stepped off the road.
he saw me, veered sharp, and kept plowin' by me
at a fast speed.

i grinned.

okay. okay. you got it.
you got my attention.

for real? i asked myself?
is my attention really focused now?
because if that's the point, let me get it so
that we can move forward.

i walked and thought about that.

got to my goodmorningworld spot and looked at the
sky. the rain fell in my face.

yeah. i'm listening. i really am.

i'm listening.
and i'm ready to follow.

i turn to my day mindful of an open heart,
ready to act on what i hear.

feels pretty darn good.

2 comments:

dreamphemera said...

God (the Universe, your Higher Power, etc.) gets pretty insistent if you aren't listening, hey? I've had days like that, and moments like that -- where it was unequivocal, that someone was really getting my truly focused attention.

I just read a blog by another friend where she was in the airport, and she saw a bird hopping around. She waited and watched for a bit -- and realized that she was the only one who saw him -- she was the only witness to a quiet little miracle, a quiet little mystery. When we get wrapped up in busy and drama, we miss the quiet miracles.

(PS - really glad you escaped speeding car scenario unscathed! :@

Pamela Jones said...

I guess a speeding car coming right at you would be a good reason to be where you're supposed to be -- especially if it's a step to one side!

When you listen, can you hear the music? Dance your dance to the music of the universe!