mullin' time

everything seems to have a flip side, ya know?

some of it was real hard for me to accept at first.
gosh, some of it still is!

like when i first came in contact with someone
who really did seem like a 'healer' and who i also
saw as having some real unhealthy issues themselves.

how can that work?? i wondered.
and doubted the validity of their healing.

for a long time, i just denied the good they were doin'
and figured they were a fake.

and then somewhere along the line, i couldn't deny the
good some of them did. even if they were what i'd call
jerks.

and i wondered how that worked.

still do wonder.

and then there's authors and speakers.......

i gotta tell ya, if i had to pick a group with some
pretty big personal issues, i'd say it was authors
and speakers!! talk about an ego trip and getting
full of yourself and thinking you have all the answers.

oh my goodness.

and being kinda intuitive and sensitive, i really do
notice these things.

of course, some of it's hard to miss...like when they tell
you here's all the truths of the universe-let me
fill you in.

excuse me??

insert eye roll here please.

but i tell ya what....i'd listen. and i'd filter thru
my own lens and i'd use what felt right to me.

i'm pleased to say this morning, after talkin' to a friend
about this, that i've gotten much better about takin'
the message i want and leavin' the messenger behind.

even with the book 'tuesdays with morrie' i had a few
problems with morrie!

ohmygosh. shoot me now.
i wasn't gonna tell anyone that.

and i found myself at the coffee shop with bob and josh
and tellin' them what i saw in morrie.

bob looked at me and said 'you're psychoanalyzing morrie!!'

and i laughed, and i put my head down cause i was!!

i loved the book. i loved morrie. would have so
enjoyed bein' his friend. but i saw some of his issues
driving him.

my gosh.......who's don't, ya know??
our issues really do a lot of the driving.
even when it's good driving.

in my note to my friend, i mentioned m. scott peck.
the author of one of my favorite books. his section on love
in his books is one of the best i've ever read. and my gosh,
that man musta been a real pill to live with.

whattya do with that???

some i can listen to and hear and pull out the good stuff.
some i can't even give the time of day to.
they've crossed too many lines for me.

so i guess there are lines.

i think i'm okay with sifting thru the arrogance and the
know it all stuff. which surprises me as i really dislike
that arrogant stuff in real life. but i think when it's in
written form, i can just skim over it.

(maybe i need to get better with skimming over it in real
life!!!)

i guess i'm not okay with sifting thru stuff that spreads
hate or small mindedness. i don't want to give that the
time of day. i have a lotta trouble with crude and crass.
crude and crass steal beauty for me. so that's hard too.

i'm not sure what the lines are.
and i want to kinda watch.
think it's an interesting question.

which things draw lines for you that you don't want to
give the energy to? is it helping or hurting you?

that's another great question, don't you think??

i'm gonna be mullin' over here..........
thought i'd throw it out there for you too.......