there was an angel in there. i swear!

we had gathered in my shed.
they were gonna give me a welding lesson.

stepping right outside of the shed, they had me get
the torch going. turn the knob, use the striker,
POOF, turn the other knob.

okay.
let's do it again.

okay, i was in.
even lighting the torch thrilled me.
you should hear that poof.
it's one heck of a poof.

i wasn't doin' anything in particular.
just practicing.
we had two metal bars in the clamp waiting
for me to weld.

ohhh let's type that again 'waiting for me to weld.'

oh man, that's a cool phrase.

and so i did.
oh my gosh. i actually welded!

and at some point, right away, i was doing something wrong.
still don't know what. haven't seen this color light
before when i watched them weld. it was this yellow
color that was incredible. and different from any other yellow
i had seen before with this stuff.
but apparently, i wasn't sposed to be doin' whatever i was doing,
so i had to move the torch a bit.

i was reluctant as i didn't want it to go away.

but i moved.
and then the flame just wrapped around the bars and
it was so incredibly gorgeous.

and okay....i don't even know how to say this....i know
i sound like i'm on drugs....i know that.....but i swear
at some point as i watched the flame play with the metal,
i swear i saw an angel in there.

i know.
i know.
i sound like a lunatic.

and i wouldn't even type this if i just wasn't so full of
the whole thing.

josh just put his head down and laughed when i told him.
i know.
i really know.

but i so felt like i did.

and then....
then...

the metal......it melted.
it melted.
oh my gosh. have you seen metal melt??? it's otherworldly.

it so melted and it was just incredibly beautiful.
the colors are indescribable. and when it melts, there's
something that happens, i can't even describe it.
but it's like a birth or something.

when i finished that one little spot, the guys told
me to turn the torch off. i did.
and they were goin' over stuff and tellin' me things.

but i had just seen an angel, you know???
and i had just seen metal melt.
so i guess i looked a little dazed.

noah's saying 'mom, mom, mom, i really need you to
hear this part.'

and i'm nodding. cause i'm hearing him.
but i'm looking a little dazed too.
and there's a tear running down my cheek.

zakk's sayin' 'mom, you can't cry now. you gotta
hear what noah's syain'.'

and i'm nodding and hearing what noah's saying.
i finally ask a question so they know i'm actually
here. they seem to relax.

we talk a bit about it.
and then i try again.

this time using the rod stuff.
i wasn't good at that at all.
and didn't even want to do it as i found it distracting.
but...what it is is a stick of stuff (metal?? i don't know)
and you melt that in for the low spots. so it melts and fills
in with the flowy stuff.

and i kept not getting the stick hot enough and then it
gets stuck and can't move. kinda like your tongue on a post
on a cold day.

but later i realized that when i got good with that, it'd
be like actually interacting with the melting. actually
being more a part of it. so i'm so gonna work on that.

i cut the lesson short.
the guys were giving me their time.
and i figured if i could keep it to short lessons, i'd
keep getting the lessons.

as we walked back in the house, my whole insides were
electrified. i actually felt the buzzing goin' thru me.

and you know what?
when i sit here and type about it, i feel it too.

years ago, when i started working with clay, i thought clay
must be my thing cause when i work with it, every cell in
my body smiles. i had never felt anything like that before.

but this......this is so beyond that feeling. i don't
even know what to think of it. i don't even have words to
describe it...

magic. birth. holy. angels. otherworldly. mesmerizing.
i think i love welding.