a word shift....

i didn't go out walking with 'self love' on my mind.
it's just that when i hit the corner and the sky fell all over me,
the phrase 'self love' fell right on top of me too.

fell right outta the sky.

and my thoughts quickly shifted that way.

there's been a lot of conversations with women lately who seem to
have forgotten it. and i wondered if i should start bringing 'self love'
into the conversations.

that whole phrase can be a drag.
like the darn word 'love.'
that word covers the whole wide range...
it can be trite, misunderstood, an eye roller.
it can also be powerful, life changing, god.
it's the whole darn stinkin' range.

throw in 'self' in front of it and you end up getting stuck right
there a lot. i know i've rolled my eyes with a 'yeah, yeah, yeah,
i love myself just fine' kinda thing. now go away.

so i wondered about a different word.

and the word 'integrity' came to mind.

that one keeps floating around me. and i have always loved that word.

i looked it up just now.
it was cool as there were definitions in there that included things about
completeness and wholeness....and....honesty, truthfulness, possession
of firm values....that kinda thing.

hmmmmmmmm............'self integrity.'
it really seems kinda perfect.

something i tell myself and my buds often when we're struggling is
to just be honest as to where we are. you don't need to change stuff
right away, you just have to honestly see it. that's the first step, i think.

then there's this whole honesty stuff i've been thinking about for years
and years. how i always thought i was honest....and man, i gotta tell ya,
i now think being honest takes the muscles of hercules and it's so much
harder than i ever realized.

sometimes for me, just looking at things with a different word helps so much.
this is one i can use with both myself and my friends. are we acting with
integrity towards ourselves? wow. that's a pretty good question.

and if we even get near a 'yes, but....' we maybe should look at that.

if not ourselves first than who?