Wednesday, January 25, 2012

in the laughter.......

his mom passed away last week.
he and his mom have lived next door to us for we don't even know how long...
12 years maybe...
she hasn't been doin' good. i wasn't surprised.

he was tho.
he knew it was coming.
and he knew it wouldn't be long.
but not quite then.
he wasn't expecting it just then.
and it hit him pretty hard.

he and i really couldn't be much more different.
and we know it. and somehow, we get along fabulously.
the part where we're similar is we're both pretty friendly and
believe in being there for neighbors, and we like to laugh.
and we are both just genuinely glad the other's there.
that gets us pretty far.
there's a love between us that springs from all of that.
i feel it, and i enjoy it.

standing at his mom's service yesterday, i looked at my sons
standing in a circle with him and his son. each one of them in suits.
i hadn't seen his son in years. he was as grown and as handsome as
my guys. and he was a dad now. and one heck of a happy dad.

standing back looking at that circle of guys, a whole lotta thoughts
swirled inside me. it wasn't exactly a thrill to see all the suits, as it
usually means exactly what it meant then....a funeral. and yet, they
sure were a good lookin' crew. and it was so good to see his son so

wow, what a mix you see at something like this......
death, new life, kids grown into men, men growing older.......
there was a lot whirling inside of me as i watched.

leaving his house yesterday and heading home, i went to say goodbye
and give him a hug. and this.....this moment......was when i felt the
love the most......

mid-hug he teased me about my shoes. i like his teasing. he feels like
a brother to me when he does that. we laughed and in mid-hug i hit
him on the back.

forget the hug, i hit him instead.

and right at that moment, i felt the love for him the most.

we had already shared the teary hugs, the gentle talks, the offers of help....

it was the laughing and the teasing and the playfulness that moved me the most.

there's something about laughing and joking when you're hurting and sad.....
there's something so incredible about that.
i think cause you can't just do that with strangers.
you know, REALLY do that.....
there's got to be some kinda relationship there......

and in its own way, it's one of the most beautiful forms of intimacy.

i really think so.
and i love that when that happens.

i held the moment, cause death always reminds me to do that.
hold the moments. and appreciate the moments.

and i did.
and as i turned to go, i looked up at the sky, thought of his mom
and smiled her way. she'll live on in the laughter.

what a cool thing is that?

that's where i want to live on after i the laughter........


AkasaWolfSong said...

Hmmm...this is sweet. I lost a long time friend on my birthday on the 20th of this month and I had remembered some things about him that brought up a lot of laughter and I shared it with my kids and then we were all laughing.
I had been feeling a bit sorry for myself through the day as I hadn't received any cards, no birthday cake from children, etc., and then received the phone call I'd much rather have not received but it sure put things in perspective in a nano-second! Wow! Was I humbled. So yes, the laughter is healing and they will so live on in that.
What a beautiful post today Terr!
Sorry to hear about your neighbor but so glad to know you all could support one another in love. What else is there?
(and p.s. I did get a beautiful homemade tree from my grandaughter the next day and made it so very special and Seth came over to shovel me out...great birthday gifts those kids!) :)

Susie Keeth said...

Ter, I just wrote about a very similar theme, thanks to you. Living on in laughter and allowing our memories of others to do that too. I love how your words prompt me to think and walk through the stuff that inhibits that laughter.

terri said...

thanks you guys......

Sherry said...

Wow Terri, you really hit on something truly amazing there. Soo true and wonderful. Thank you. :)

Sorrow said...

Oh yeah, thats where I want to live on, in the laughter. I want them to stand there and tell those silly stories, I want the reminisce to be about all the funny stuff, and fill it up with smiles.
When I am gone, remember me in a strangers laugh..

Dan McGaffin said...

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
W. H. Auden

terri said...

glad it hit right, sherry! and sorrow.....that's something i love between us..the laughter! and mister dan - awesome quote! thank you!!!