in the laughter.......

his mom passed away last week.
he and his mom have lived next door to us for we don't even know how long...
12 years maybe...
she hasn't been doin' good. i wasn't surprised.

he was tho.
he knew it was coming.
and he knew it wouldn't be long.
but not quite then.
he wasn't expecting it just then.
and it hit him pretty hard.

he and i really couldn't be much more different.
and we know it. and somehow, we get along fabulously.
the part where we're similar is we're both pretty friendly and
believe in being there for neighbors, and we like to laugh.
and we are both just genuinely glad the other's there.
that gets us pretty far.
there's a love between us that springs from all of that.
i feel it, and i enjoy it.

standing at his mom's service yesterday, i looked at my sons
standing in a circle with him and his son. each one of them in suits.
i hadn't seen his son in years. he was as grown and as handsome as
my guys. and he was a dad now. and one heck of a happy dad.

standing back looking at that circle of guys, a whole lotta thoughts
swirled inside me. it wasn't exactly a thrill to see all the suits, as it
usually means exactly what it meant then....a funeral. and yet, they
sure were a good lookin' crew. and it was so good to see his son so
happy.

wow, what a mix you see at something like this......
death, new life, kids grown into men, men growing older.......
there was a lot whirling inside of me as i watched.

leaving his house yesterday and heading home, i went to say goodbye
and give him a hug. and this.....this moment......was when i felt the
love the most......

mid-hug he teased me about my shoes. i like his teasing. he feels like
a brother to me when he does that. we laughed and in mid-hug i hit
him on the back.

forget the hug, i hit him instead.

and right at that moment, i felt the love for him the most.

we had already shared the teary hugs, the gentle talks, the offers of help....

it was the laughing and the teasing and the playfulness that moved me the most.

there's something about laughing and joking when you're hurting and sad.....
there's something so incredible about that.
i think cause you can't just do that with strangers.
you know, REALLY do that.....
there's got to be some kinda relationship there......

and in its own way, it's one of the most beautiful forms of intimacy.

i really think so.
and i love that when that happens.

i held the moment, cause death always reminds me to do that.
hold the moments. and appreciate the moments.

and i did.
and as i turned to go, i looked up at the sky, thought of his mom
and smiled her way. she'll live on in the laughter.

what a cool thing is that?

that's where i want to live on after i go.....in the laughter........