s'all good....

you know how you wait for a shoe to drop?
you know how you go along feeling so good and you think...
'okay, where's the shoe that's gonna land on my head?'
and you KNOW you shouldn't think like that...but you do anyway?

well i had been that way. had a fantastic entry into 2012 that kept
moving right into february.

where the heck's the shoe?

well, yeah, it dropped.
felt kinda like a hiking shoe.
and then while i was kinda layin' there with a shoe on my face,
the other one landed.

that one felt like a work boot.
a steel toed work boot.

plop. smash.

you know what's so cool tho?
they both landed, and yeah i'm figurin' there's only two.
so i got 'em.

i'm already up from the first one. there's a little mark left. i can
still feel the hurt if i push a little bit. but it's mostly gone. and the
other one....well, okay, that one still hurts even without touching it.
but they landed! and i got thru 'em.

so now i'm done with the shoes. well, almost....a little more work
and i'll be done with the shoes.

and i can go back to good stuff.

or wait a minute.
were the shoe/boot things good stuff?

i sent this to a friend yesterday - it'a s quote from anam cara -

'Though the human body is born complete in one moment,
the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process. It is being
birthed in every experience of your life. Everything that happens
to you has the potential to deepen you. It brings to birth within you
new territories of the heart.'

hmmmm....so the shoes/boots are part of the journey.
yeah, i guess i knew that. but chose to forget. cause they hurt.

oh, silly girl, when will you get it that that's okay???
and when will you just know that you'll get thru the hurt just fine,
and go back to the play with just as much gusto? or.....maybe even
a little more gusto....because maybe the hurt reminds you of how
good the joyful is.
and when will you get that there's always more than two shoes?
they're always there. and it just doesn't matter.

cause EVERYTHING that happens to you has the potential to deepen you.

i wonder if i'll ever stop looking for the shoes to drop, know they're out
there already, and just keep focused on the moments. every single one of
them...the shoe filled, and the barefoot ones.

's'all good. in it's own darn way.