that tone

and so i watched.
both them and me.

i noticed the places where i kept my boundaries.
and i noticed the places where i was tempted to stretch them a bit.

the temptation got knocked out of me tho.
the moment i heard it in his voice.
that sound we make, that tone, when we've decided
not to make that hard change. not to do the healthy thing.

i know that tone.
both from my own self and from others.

and by now i know what that tone brings.
i've learned the hard way.

people don't always make the healthy picks.

and something occurred to me today -
it seems such an obvious thought.
and i'm not sure i ever had it before -

the more unhealthy we are, the more we cling to it and
don't want to change.

that just makes sense, does it not?
but it seemed new to me today.

and i thought of her.
and how incredibly unhealthy she is.

the kind of unhealthy that will take everyone down who
stays near her. because that's part of her deal.
to take you down with her.

and how he's going along. and how he's made the choice to go.

the sound. i could hear it so loudly.
and it only got louder.

and the louder it got, the stronger my reminders came back.
the reminders that boundaries are there for a reason.
and i need to keep them.

and it reminds me of the importance of my choices.

and i have a feeling, they'll be testing me with those.
i think i'll be ready tho. cause i saw a lot today. and i thought a lot.

and i wondered about a thousand times today why oh why we give our lives
away so easily.