an art find

so i was digging around my attic looking for something.
and bumped into all my old festival stuff.
all the stuff i used to use when i did art festivals.
including the art.

wow.
talk about a trip down memory lane.
and i gotta tell ya, i don't miss those days.
altho, i did meet some pretty cool people that way.
but what a ton of work. and for an introvert.
talk about out of your comfort zone.

it's hard to believe i even had the courage to do it.
but then again, you do what you gotta do. and i guess that's
how i did it. i had to. i think i was braver than i realized.

it looks as if i didn't know i was doing my last art festival.
i was packed up in pretty good shape to go out and do another.
i don't even remember the thought process back then,
did i just say 'no more?' or did they just dwindle away?
i have no idea.

i pulled out all kindsa art from the early days.
woe.
there was some pain there for sure.
wow.

a different kinda pain than the pain i can feel come up at times now.
which is good to see.
it's better now. it really is. even when it gets painful. it's still better
than those days. it really does get better. dark really does turn lighter.
even if dark patches return, it does get lighter.

i flipped thru piece after piece, remembering.
and thinking about how long the road has been.
and how the bone sighs have always been therapy for me.

the other day, feelin' a bit off center, i ended up sitting with some of
my own writing. i work with it so much, i forget to read it or be with it.

but i ended up being with it.
and it soothed me.

i have always felt a little funny about that.
i'm not sure why.
like maybe i should just need other people's work to soothe me???
why on earth would i not react to my own stuff that's come from my
own struggles???

now i think i'm funny for feeling funny.

i'm involved in an art show coming up with the theme of art as healing.

the timing for this find of attic art is perfect.
i am so reminded of the healing journey i've been down and continue to travel.
bone sighs have kept me sane.

i must have said a thousand times 'when the pain was too much, i poured it out on paper.'
looking thru this collection, it's way obvious.

i've always been grateful for bone sigh arts.
but today, i'm feeling it in such a deep way.
i can see....i can hold in my hands....how much they've helped me cope.

we all need an outlet.
i hope we can all find the one that works for us.

not something that makes us run away,
but something that helps us turn inward and be.