you know how sometimes there's just bad thing after bad thing,
or hard thing after hard thing, and you just can't believe it?
or it's been a real big struggle, and then you feel like a truck hits you?
well it's been just like that only opposite!
it's been thing after thing after thing....
but good things.
shifts and new perspectives and openings and rememberings
all kindsa big deep good things.
which seemed to lead to this tsunami that flooded over me and made
a totally ordinary day one of the best days EVER.
when i got his note last nite telling me he was curious what i had done all day -
i tried to think of what i HAD done so i could tell him when we talked. he had been
busy, so i disappeared into my own world. where had i gone?
turns out i went to the magically mundane.
i fed my azaleas.
first time in 20 years i did that.
first time i ever did that anywhere.
and a boxwood.
i fed that too.
and my flowers.
and i talked to my flowers and my plants.
and i relished the fact that i had them.
and i cut down a dead bush.
WITH a chainsaw.
total thrill there with the chainsaw.
gasped at how quick it cut things.
raised my eyebrows at the guys who were there
to make sure i didn't cut off a leg by accident.
i trimmed a bush, watched noah trim a bush and weeded.
teased zakk, and laughed.
i put out laundry.
i hung it out to dry.
my sheets and my blankets.
i extended my clothesline into a little maze of clothesline.
made the guys stop and look at my maze.
i got up on a little step later and hung up more rope.
i actually laughed with delight as i hung it.
i concentrated very hard to make the rope tight.
and then gave up with a good natured 'oh well' when i just couldn't keep it that way.
i hung my sheets up and felt tickled everywhere inside of me.
i love hanging laundry.
i made a birthday sign for my mom's birthday next weekend.
i made it as pretty as i could, and wrapped her presents as funky
and fun and bright as i could. i wanted to do something to show her
i cared. and so i played and had fun and spent time trying to make
things festive for her. for no other reason but to love her.
i went to the store with josh to pick up a few things.
we talked and laughed and shopped.
i helped make dinner, i helped clean up dinner.
i did NOTHING spectacular.
and yet EVERYTHING was spectacular.
and i noticed.......
i believed in my life again.
i believed in my entire life - me by myself, my life with my partner,
my business, my grown sons.......all the parts of my life........
i was two feet in. and i believed again.
and the mundane became the magical.