a moment to honor

there are so many moments when i wonder what the heck i'm doin'.
there are so many moments self doubt zips on in and takes over.
there are so many moments that i'm lost and insecure.

and THEN.....
every now and again......
every once in awhile.......

i know....without one smidgen of a speck of dust of doubt
that i'm living how i want to live and going in the direction i truly want to travel.

i know in my depths that i wouldn't change a thing.

those moments are rare.
but when they hit, they hit so deep the world stands still.

i've only had these a handful of times.
but each time is SUCH a moment.

i'm pausing in the long string of blogs that are filled with searching
and being lost and wondering and mulling to slip in one tiny little blog
that feels so huge to me, that for this moment, i'm not searching.
i'm just standing in a puddle of awesomeness and soaking in every drop.

i don't care if i have to budget my heart out for the rest of my life.
i don't care if i land in those spots of self doubt over and over again.
i don't care if it feels really hard sometimes.
cause i know......for this moment i really know....that none of that matters.

maybe those are the moments that keep us goin' in all the other moments.

i figured it was something to stop and honor.
and i understand it will be a knowing that leaves and all the other stuff will
slip in and take its place...and i also know that's how it works, and that's okay.

i saw this quote on my printer.....
figure it fits this morning. i think it's from buddah -

'in the end what matters most is
how well did you live
how well did you love
how well did you learn to let go.'