strings

there's this ball of stuff i want to share,
i think it seems chaotic and unrelated at first glance,
at least maybe from the outside looking in it does.

it all ties together and makes sense to me tho.
so i thought i'd share.

here's a string - i've got the hormone thing goin' on.
and my gosh, i FEEL things so strongly right now.
at first i was rolling my eyes kinda tryin' to excuse it away.
and then it occurred to me - this is AWESOME.
i can really really really feel stuff.
and when i'm sad, wow, i'm sad.
and when i'm happy, get outta the way, i am over the moon happy.
when i'm moved, touched or humbled, the tears roll freely.
it really is kinda cool.
i decided to embrace it right now.
and somewhere in that embracing, i could see the beauty of it all.
the strength in it.
the complete honesty of the feelings.

another string - i got knocked for a loop this week.
a couple different things caused it.
(why is it one thing isn't ever enough??)
and i landed smack dab into the ol' puddle of self doubt.
big time.
questioned everything i did.
and felt lost.
add the hormone string and you get the picture.

another string - just wrote a friend who was talking about her journey.
the only thing i could think of offering that was of any value was this -
it's okay not to know the answers. we need to just open, ask and listen.
'we don't have to know everything. we just have to want to hear.'
i liked that thought. think it was more for me than her.

yet another string - i was handed much to hear after my self doubt melt down.
it was as if the universe wrapped me in reminders.
and i heard.

and if you took all these strings and more and wrapped them in a ball and
put one big fat string all over it - that one big fat string would be this -

go where you're led with your whole heart.
accept that there will be times you won't feel seen or understood.
don't give your power away because of that.
make it burn brighter. turn up the fire.
keep your heart open and go where you are led.