yet another birthday

when there's a lot goin' on over here,
it's hard to tell where you'll land from moment to moment.
and lately, there's been so much happening,
i just spin off in a million directions.
which is kinda fun if you stay open to it.
you never know what's happening next.

i stole a quick little bit of time to be out in my yard early in the morning.
i know if those moments don't get stolen in the morning, i lose 'em.
it felt so good.
sure is something wonderful - and needed - about being outside.
but i kept it quick, knowing it was gonna be one of those days.

and so it was.

i came in, worked real fast, then ran out to do errands.

running back in later with arms full of groceries, i saw the answering
machine blinking.

josh had called.
i'll just call him back quick and slip the food away at the same time, i thought.....

i returned his call as i stashed the food in all its places.

'do you have a minute?' he asked.

'sure' i lied.

and then promptly began pulling pots out.
i figured it was gonna take more than a minute,
so i should start cooking the lasagna we were having the next day
to honor his birthday.(i'm a fan of it sitting around for a day before
you eat it. letting those flavors mix and all that......)

and i'm getting to be a pro at grabbing the moments.

and so he talked.
i cooked. and listened.
and gave feedback.

i was loving what i was hearing.
he was finding some things he needed to find.
having some great thoughts.
and he sounded good.
like he was going in a strong direction.

'what a wonderful conversation to have while i make your birthday dinner!' i told him.
and it really was.
i felt so good listening to him.
that good a parent feels when they know their kid is getting stuff that matters -
and it's in a healthy way! - that's a good feeling.

i hung up the phone and finished up.
all the while thinking about that oldest son of mine.
what a difference in this afternoon and the one so long ago just before he was born.

back then i had no idea at all what it would be like to have a son,
let alone three of them........

i had no idea how my life would change.
and i had no idea how amazing it would be to watch them grow.

this is his first birthday where i've been all on my own......
it's such a cool place to perch and watch.
i like it here.
far enough where i can just watch at times,
close enough where i can hear some of the thoughts he cares to share.

it's his birthday today.
and i'm filled with gratitude, love, respect and just plain joy in
what that little baby brought to my life.......and the lives of so many others.

sometimes - some moments - are just so darn good you want to pop.
as i look out on this foggy gray morning -
it couldn't look any better to me.

happy birthday, josh!