Wednesday, January 22, 2014

puttin' it on the table

oh gosh.
can you say 'shame'???

we've all got it, right?

well, i had a nice big wave of it come over me.
shoot, i hate that stuff.

it was big.
it was intense.
and it was overwhelming.

and yeah, i know......
it needs looking at.

so, first thing i did was hide.
tried that.

that didn't work.

then i tried running.
that didn't work.

then i tried eating.
oh yes.
that didn't do much.

and so then i went to youtube.
typed in brene brown and shame.

i knew she was the queen of studying it.
figured i'd get some insights.

i've seen many of her vids.
and prolly have seen this one before but blocked it.
that would sound about right.
who could tell?

but i watched it. (again?)
it brought tears to my eyes.

she talks about how we need to be vulnerable and how we need
to have empathy.

so i'm puttin' it here on the table.
and i'm tryin' to be vulnerable with it.
and i guess i need to turn to empathy.
or is that compassion when it's turned to yourself?

self compassion?
self empathy?

whatever it is......i'm gonna try to turn to it.

i don't know how to get rid of it.
but i'm gonna try sittin' with some of it.

perhaps it's the only way to melt that boulder i was just talkin' about
that needs melting.

in fact, now that i think about it......
it can't just be a coincidence shame floods over me at the same time
i decide i need to melt a boulder in my path, can it?

i tell ya, this journey stuff is not for chickens.

and for those who are interested.....snuggle in with a warm drink and
watch brene's talk!

1 comment:

Sherry said...

Hey Terri, don't you just love Brene? Recently I've been dealing with my own Shame issues. I wonder if you ever had a chance to check out that book _Language of Emotions_. She talks about what happens when shame gets stuck...and really stuck. I'm working on getting mine UNstuck and free flowing..I'll let you know if I have any breakthroughs! :)