it used to be that when the kids were little,
i'd go outside and see all the thousands of things i needed to do
to keep the place up.
i'd get stressed and wonder how on earth i'd ever get it done.
over the years i got worn down and came to realize i wouldn't.
and somehow along the way, i lost the stress and the caring.
now when i go outside i'm so delighted as there's something to do
in whatever direction i turn. i never have to wonder what i'll do out
there, i just step outside and begin. i love that.
it used to be that when i'd look at the messes my family made,
i would wonder what it would be like to be tidy and have things in order.
and now with the guys taking almost the last of their stuff to their own places,
i can totally see how tidy is over-rated, and messy is the sign that life is happening.
i'm not so sure i'm gonna over tidy around here.
with watching someone's passing that was anything but what i want,
i can see how much it matters to have life be about love. how much it matters
to live outside of yourself.
i'm watching an interesting whoosh of perspectives goin' on inside of me.
some brought on by the natural wearing down of living, some by a transition
in life, and some by a very sad ending.
and it's making me feel 'older' -
but not in a bad way.
in a really cool way.
in a way where i can see how living teaches us a ton if we watch.
and how so many of those trite sayings we hear along the way are anything but trite.
there is so much here to soak in, if we want it.
i've been soakin' like a sponge lately,
and lovin' it.