the day ahead

sometimes i have moments when i remember who i really want to be.

one of those moments got knocked into me yesterday with some sad news.
and it's carried on into today.

something tragic softened me instead of hardened me.

that right there is something to rejoice in.
it's usually the other way around for me.
at least initially.

but it softened me yesterday,
reminded me of how i wanted to live,
and this morning it's coasted me right into how i want to be.
same thing?
maybe.
i don't know.
just feels wide and deep.

and i remember that i want to be love.

i read recently something from meredith young-sowers -
'in order to become love, you are required not to define it, but to experience it.'

so i decided on a plan today -

i'm going to experience it today by offering it as much as i possibly can.
over and over again today i will offer it.
consciously.
i am going to get out of myself.
i am going to put my wounds aside, and offer soothing to wounds i see around me.

the timing is nice. there will be lots of chances for me to do this.

will i do it? who can tell........
but i'm gonna try.
i'm headin' into the day soft and open.
i'm hoping i end the day that way as well.