just thinking

i mentioned it the other day -

that i thought i was a good listener,
but then started seeing how much i miss.

and now i know being a good listener is going to be
something i work on my whole lifetime.

i can't just assume i'm good at it and then drop it.

you kinda gotta keep workin' at stuff to get good or
even just stay at a certain level.

well this morning i got to thinking about being 'thoughtless.'

who really thinks they're thoughtless, right?

altho i have had my fair share of 'oh, mygosh, i didn't even think that one thru!' moments.

so i've had plenty of thoughtless moments.
but yet, i'd still tell you i'm thoughtful.

because thoughtless people are 'those' people and they're extreme.

that's convenient, huh?!

but um......i don't think it has to be extreme.
as a matter of fact,
i think it's some of the quietest simplest moments that matter the most.

well, i've been watching and thinking -

we miss so much.
*i* miss so much!

and here's a weird twist on the thoughtfulness thing -
you actually have to realize your value so that you can be thoughtful about what you do.

yeah.
if you don't think you matter, or you're not that important,
you'll act like it and do things that seem thoughtless and definitely hurt.
you have to see clearly.

and i'm thinking it so relates to listening -
if you're not paying attention to the other person,
if you're just assuming about them.......
well, i'm pretty sure things will come out as thoughtless.
and maybe what it really is is sightless.

i don't think we can forever be worried about hurting everyone around us.
that gets tricky. yes, we need to care. but my gosh,
there's a lotta dysfunction out there and that kinda worry ends up getting
you really sucked into stuff that's not healthy.

but!
i don't think it would hurt a darn thing for me to not just assume i'm thoughtful.
to always know that it is always something to pay attention to.
in some of the hardest ways -
in times when we're distracted,
or we're assuming and we don't even know we're doin' it!

maybe it's just a forever practice in being fully present.
towards ourselves and those around us.

yeah, i guess it is.
whew.
think there was a lot more in that 'be present now' kinda thinking
than i knew......it really does seem to cover everything!