Friday, May 29, 2015

looking for input....

so there have been a couple repetitive words in my life lately.
yesterday i wrote of one - 'trauma.'
today i want to write about the other - 'secrets.'

and i was hoping to get some input.

recently i've witnessed different people struggling with secrets they're holding.

i hear a lotta secrets doin' what i do.
and because of that, i can easily see that people aren't alone with those secrets.
but they don't always know that because they're too afraid/ashamed/terrified
to tell what they know.

isolation grows.
healing slows.

i truly believe in the healing power of sharing of our stories.
but when the stories are filled with secrets, we get quiet and we get stuck.

filled with all these thoughts, i enthusiastically, but not very thoughtfully,
asked about secrets on the bone sigh arts facebook page.
a few minutes after i posted, i realized the very public spot was
probably not the most considerate place to be asking people about secrets.

to the bone sigh arts community's credit, i got some very thoughtful responses.
and i so appreciated what was shared.

it got me thinking even more about this dilemma.
and sparks of ideas have begun inside me.
but i could use some help in refining them -

i'd like to offer a page on our website for secrets.

i want to have a place we can put this stuff on the table and say 'this happened
to me and i've been carrying it alone. i want to put it down here, share it and
let some of it's weight lift. and i want others to understand they're not alone.'

that would be the point of the place.
but there needs to be some thought into the process of making something like
this happen.

my sons pointed out to me that i don't want the page to be all darkness.
great point.
a page full of dark stories can have its drawbacks unless
it includes hope in a really tangible way, i think.

so i'd like some input on that -
could people offer a secret they've been carrying AND a second half with it?
maybe a way they're working on healing from it, or something of that sort?
any thoughts on that? some sort of light with the dark? i really think we'd
need the mix.

of course everything would be anonymous. there would be no names,
initials, anything of that sort.

perhaps instead of a page, i could make an art piece? i don't know.

almost everything is open at this point.
i can't offer a private forum or anything i would have to moderate.
i don't have the time. so this would have to be something i can create and let stand
as it is and add as we go.

i was thinking of letting people know they could email me, or if they preferred,
they could snail mail me secrets. nothing graphic or i'd have to edit those parts out
just cause we'd worry about triggering others. and then i'd post them somehow.

i would want a trigger warning anyway so people knew what was happening before
they browsed whatever it was we were offering.

does this sound like a healing place to anyone else?
is this something anyone else would be interested in?
does anyone see a need for it?

any thoughts would be welcome. it's quite possible it's a bad idea and i'd be
okay with hearing that. one less thing to do, ya know?
there's no gimmick involved, no profit to be made, i'm not trying to do anything
but offer a spot that our community may need. if it's needed, i want to try.
if not, i'm good with moving on to other things.

so give me some input when you have a chance?
you can comment here, or email me privately.


Crowing Crone Joss said...

This is something I too have been mulling lately. There are so many reasons we don't tell. How does not telling help us or honour our journey?
I agree with your son. The telling can be so dark and also lends a bit to being voyeurs. Sharing here is something, one thing that is a part of my story and here is how I am healing would be better.

People can share as anonymous and protect their identity.

Those are a few of my thoughts.

diane in ar said...

It sounds like there might truly be a need for a secrets offloading, dealing with place. Over the years people have shared long-held-painful secrets with me. The listening was not easy. . .but the relief in the teller's eyes made it worthwhile - they needed to say it - some need to write it. . .one friend says, "garbage out" when getting out those long held hurts. . .first step in letting go or getting past or dealing better with them. If someone had a safe secure place to 'put' them, without moderation it would help them I think. . .bless your heart ter for wanting to help. . .

terri st. cloud said...

thanks for your thoughts, you guys. :)

Susie Keeth said...

Not sure my first went through, so I'll try it again....
I just keep going back to the BoneSigh Forum and the sacred refuge that it offered so many. I know it's a huge job and commitment and probably costs money too....but it was a priceless place of support, "off loading", encouragement, advice, HEALING, and safety. I know you don't have time to do all that it takes to moderate a forum like that again Ter and I love you for being able to say that. But, you literally saved my life on so many different levels. It wasn't necessarily "the gift" that saved me....because it was supplemented with a therapist, my Reiki and my medical doctor....but it was the gift that allowed the other things to work as well as they did. It was the place to bring and receive the heaviness, the sadness, the happiness and the victories, the support and encouragement and the strength to put all of the pieces together that allowed healing to happen in a SAFE and supported "tribe" of people who were there for the good of all...whether that meant being held up or even carried by others or being there to hold others up until they had the strength to hold themselves up.
Anyhow.....I don't know step one of making something similar happen again, but I know that it saved my life and that I will be forever full of gratitude for the gift that it and you have been in my journey....and I would be willing to learn, to create, to assist, to pay, to help moderate or whatever it would take. And I have a feeling that there are others in the BSA community who would be willing to do the same.
It would never be able to replace what we had, but it would be a start and I would love to do what I can from here to help make it happen. Just sayin.......

terri st. cloud said...

thank you so much, susie. your heart is beautiful to offer what you have. thank you for that. and it means the world to me you said what you did about it and your own life. and gosh, i'm thinking you had to type that twice! thanks for the effort! :)
i've got to know my own limitations and what it is i feel good about offering, so for now, it's in a different direction....but you just never know about the future.
and just so you know, i'm not the only one who can set up a forum. perhaps it's a project your heart is calling you to. it's free. well, in money. google it and find out about it. i'll be curious if you feel called to it. life is so cool sometimes. :)

Susie Keeth said...

I'm going to have some time so I'll google it now....see what it would look like. It is funny Ter, how cool life is sometimes....I remember years ago when you first urged me to just write, to get stuff out....then it became hard to get me to be quiet. Now I'm actually going to explore this notion about setting up a forum....we shall see dear one. Anybody else out there wanna learn with me? MayMay?? Anyone?? (((((((((((Ter)))))))))

terri st. cloud said...

it's easy, it's doable, and you'd rock at it. you would simply rock at it!