everyone has a blog. i've been holding out. didn't want to be just one
more person adding to the noise of the world. my oldest son has been
tellin' me for a long time to do one.....
no. no. no.
i have a website that's filled with my thoughts. that's enough.
then i got a note in my mailbox today. it was full of pain.
and i've been holding it in my heart all morning. it's been my nudge
to finally come and offer some thoughts.
how do we hold the pain inside? how do we hold each other's pain?
what do we do with it all? maybe share some of it....
and help each other grow.
this note i got today...she told me of cutting a word into her body
to release some of the pain inside of her. i cried when i read that.
i've never been at the point where i felt the need to do that. and yet,
i understand so many people have been there.
and i think of the pain that brings a person to that point...
how do i help?
what do i do?
all i could think of was accepting her exactly as she is. not just
being non-judgmental. beyond that. but holding her in my heart,
and truly just allowing her to be. easily done when i can't see someone.
when they're just words on my screen.
but definitely a place to start.
if i start there, then i can start taking it anywhere...
and somehow.....
somehow i'm thinking everything is connected to those darn hearts of ours.
opening them and allowing people to be....
today i'm gonna work a little more towards that...
1 comment:
thank you, terri... for all of this, and all of you that you share so freely and openly *tears in my eyes*
i am unsure why, but i do not internalize other's pain, i feel my own pain for them at times, but i find peace in knowing i do all i can to help and offer myself for future help... and then i ask the Creator to handle the rest.
i offer you, terri, some of myself, and a quiet spot in my heart any time you need it. and i accept you as you are now, and when.... b/c you are indeed very real, not just on a screen to me.... i have sat with you in many of your moments as i accepted those moments you shared here at this site... and other ways...
sorry that 'her' pain became your pain. it wasn't 'her' intention, tho i understand and appreciate your deep empathy. i hope you are able to let it go and know that the cross she has to bear up under is her's and her's alone, as your's is your's... they are what each of us can handle and sometimes all we can handle, but never more than we can handle....
to me this is much like your bone sigh: "there is always enough, even when we forget." enough strength within, enough support without, enough trust, and love and giving, and kindness.... so much enough that we are never really in want, we only feel that way till we figure out the enough part of support and the contentment part and the belief part.... and so much more...
that is how i see it and am working to know it and hold it.... (discard all or some of this as you see fit for you. it is all good.)
but it is so... so much to ask of myself, this realness and openess, 24-7....
esp. after living my whole life in survival mode, hiding deep in my core... but i will no longer stay there in the prison of my own skin. i wish to dance :O)
thanks for lighting some of the way down this dark path.
lovingly,
~still standing
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