enough already

to love a person so deeply....
to trust a person enough....
that's what i've been workin' on over the years
with him.....

my gosh, why is that the hardest thing in the world
for me to do???

because.....oh....i know why........
i know why all too well.........

too bad.
just too darn bad.

i'm doin' something big tonite.

i'm puttin' down all the garbage.
well......not ALL the garbage. let's not go overboard.
but all the garbage i've been strugglin' with LATELY.
and i'm changing focus.
to him.
not to what i want from him.
not to what i'm not getting from him.
not to what a moron he can be......

but to him.
the real him.
the real him that has ALWAYS been there for me.
the him that teaches me like no other.....
and makes me reach beyond like no other....

i'm gonna reach beyond all the surface this time.
i'm gonna reach down into love.
past the fear.
and the fear is sooo there.

one thing i've always prided myself on...
i'm foolhardy......will do things that if i thought thru,
i would never do!!

well...i'm thinking now's the time for foolhardy.....
because only the foolhardy can touch love like i want
to touch love.

only the foolhardy can live like i want to live.....

this fear stuff sucks.
enough already.

one......two.......three........
LEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!!!!!!