upholstery

i kept the thought with me all day....
to live/love the moments today.
(see post below)

i've got a cold and not as energetic as usual.
(it's times like this i realize i generally have
a lot of energy!...but not now...nope not now.)

zakk wanted to go on an outting. there was talk
of goin' tomorrow as we can plan the time better,
do what we gotta do first, all of that practical
stuff, maybe i'd feel stronger. all of that.
nah. forget that.
we decided to go.

i was very aware of my sons. very aware of how much
they meant to me and how important the moment was.
i wasn't going to accomplish the goal that they were.
i was going to be with them. that was my goal.

as we drove home in yo's truck, i sat in between yo
and zakk. yo was drivin' and smiling. zakk didn't even
know it, but he was usin' my leg as an arm rest.
he was just leanin' against me like i was part of the
upholstery with his arm danglin' on me.

he had no idea.
i wasn't gonna point it out.
i was afraid he'd move.

altho it did cross my mind to give him a real jolt
and send him flying. that woulda been fun.....
but.....
i didn't want him to move.
i sat there and thought about how incredible it was
that he was so comfortable right there. how we were
just bein' family right then and just bein' with
each other. and likin' it.

and i thought of my promise to myself to enjoy the
moments today.

you couldn't have paid for that moment.
and it was right there.
all mine.

i'm still treasurin' it.

now i'm gonna go find zakk and lean on him a bit
while i watch something stupid with him....
figure it's his turn to be upholstery.