we chatted tonite....
like we do a lot of nites...
what her day was like...
how she was feelin....
how she was copin'....
she sounds stonger as the days go by.
she casually said she just is tryin'
to put it all out of her mind.
just pretend it never happened.
we both are quite aware that that only works
on some days, some moments.
but she's doin' her best to forget it.
everything i've ever heard says you have
to deal with your pain....or it will deal with you.
i gently ponder that with her.
and we both kinda get to the same point at the
same time...
what exactly does 'deal with' mean???
'i've already been thru hell' she says.
and yeah, she has.
what 'does deal with it' mean exactly???
she said her counselor said she has to get
to 'forgiveness and all that junk.'
and we laughed.
we can laugh cause we've talked thru this
stuff with a lot of seriousness in the past.
with enough respect that would allow laughter
at this point.
yeah.
that's prolly the goal.
a good one, i think.
one i'd love to see her get to.
but watching her, i'm learning something i hope
i'll use on me....
patience.
it's not something she can just get to today.
i know that.
i don't expect that.
don't look for it.
she's where she's at.
she's tryin' to get thru her days.
and that's her goal right now.
forgiveness seems a long way off.
and i'm so okay with that.
i trust the process with her.
i watch her and see progress even when she doesn't.
it's a good lesson for me.
we grow as we can.
paces will set themselves.
and all we can do is what we can do.
and that's okay.
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