the little girls that are us...

so there we sit, over tea, talkin'.
she says some stuff has been coming up,
and the tears well up in her eyes.
and she awkwardly alludes to something
we've talked of in the past....

when she was a kid.
when she was molested.

gently, we wander into the topic.
we've both got our stories, we've both
shared them in the past.
so no details are required.
just the general subject is touched.

and we talk of the weight of the incidents.
and how we're amazed at how heavy these things
really are inside of us.

i told her of the day i was doin' art alone
in my studio. how out of the blue, in the middle
of playin' with some watercolor, i heard a voice
inside me....

'that's when you really learned that you didn't matter.'

wow.
where did that come from, i wondered.
out of the blue.

and i knew it was true.

we talked of the lessons we got from those things that
happened to us.

and we talked of the healing we still needed to do.
and the different lessons we needed to take place of the
old ones...

as i sat there looking at the tears on her face, i thought
of all the people who carry this stuff inside of them....
and how it comes up in different ways for everyone.

she's one of the most beautiful people i've ever known.
will she ever really see that?
and how much will her past keep her from seeing that?
for how long?

and i thought of myself.

again.....there's work to do.
and surrounding that work today, i want to include that
idea of 'intense love' from a few days ago.

how about intense love for those little girls that got hurt
way back then......

sounds like a good place to start.....

i like that.
a lot.