relationships are everything he says

i'm dating a brilliant guy.
thing is, sometimes his brilliance goes right
by me and it takes awhile for stuff he tells
me to sink in.

something he's been sayin' for a long time now
is that 'it's all about relationships.' that that's
the stuff that matters, and makes us who we are.

yeah, yeah.
i guess it's just too obvious to me or something
so i miss it. he doesn't. and his steady getting it
kinda sunk in today to make me see a little better.

i've been a whirl of thoughts this morning. not
sure i can tie them all in. but it ends in
'relationships are everything.'

started with control vs. determination. i talked
to someone yesterday who is definitely hell bent on
controlling a certain situation. i think just about
all of us would feel the same way in the same situation.
but as i walked i thought of his tone and the control
that oozed all over everything he said.

i knew that wasn't gonna work. cause i'm a control
freak too. and i know it doesn't work.

so then i thought of determination without control.
walked thru that a bit.
can you be determined without having to control?
ohhh....that opened up a great flow of thoughts.
yeah.
i think you can.
and i think that's when 'it works.'
ohhhhh something to return to with my own life.
determination without control.

then i thought of rules and punishment vs working
together and cooperation. i already know rules and
punishment don't work. people have tried that with me.
didn't work. i've tried it with others. didn't work.
bad plan.
but working together....seeing each other....
that stuff works.

so that brought me around to relationships being
everything.

and i saw it all in a new way.
so much of the pain around us........so so much
of that is based on relationships.
is it all?
i don't know.
haven't thought thru that yet.
could be, i guess.

so if so much of our pain is based on how we work
with each other, react to each other, see each other,
then it seems like a pretty big no brainer that
that's where we need to concentrate.

which brings me back to that brilliant guy in my life.

he knew the whole time.
but ya see....he's learnin'.
put it out there for her, give her time....let her find
it in her own way and then she'll really have it.
he lets that happen. he watches.

got a lotta thinking left to do on it....
but am kinda diggin' the whole process.....