when i was a kid.....

walkin' this morning when a wonderful, sweet memory
hit me in the face...
i remembered a walk with my dad when i was young.
he made me laugh over some silly joke he made. that
moment came back to me and i walked along with a goofy
smile on my face. i was right back there on that street
with him....

i adored my dad when i was a kid. he was king to me.

and i thought about that.

from my kid perspective, i KNEW without a doubt that
this man knew everything. that he was the wisest, strongest,
most wonderfulest man there ever was. and what he said
to me....well i KNEW it was true.

well.
i learned some not so good things from my dad.
not cause he was a bad guy....but because of all those
complicated life reasons.

i walked and thought about how i learned these things
on such a deep level. and i thought about how i viewed my
pop. i really think that the depth of my learning from
him was because i KNEW in my whole heart that it was true
cause dad said it.

and i think that's why it's so hard to UNLEARN that stuff.
cause i'm not sure there's ever been since or ever will be
again a time when i KNOW something like that.

it's the knowing that changes things.
i'm convinced of that.

in my head now i know dad was wrong. in my heart now i
know some stuff my dad never knew. when i really get
something down, i say it's in my bones.

head.
heart.
bones.

yeah.....but what about ENTIRE BEING?
um....would that be the ol 'cellular level' they
talk about?
like when i was a kid?
like when dad taught me?

i want to sit with this, cause i'm thinking that's
how come it's been so hard to get some of those darn
stinkin' lessons outta me!

food for thought.......